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Living with anxiety and Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Monique’s experiences

Monique Sung is 24 and lives in Manchester. She’s experienced anxiety, panic attacks and SAD for the last nine years.

“Personally, SAD is more than just feeling down over the winter months. I become reclusive, wanting to stay in bed for the whole season and wanting to avoid any activity that demands my energy, such as work and meeting friends and family.

 

I feel myself fall out of love with my usual hobbies like reading, cooking, and walking.  SAD makes me extremely lethargic, teary, annoyed, literally sad, and many things feel mentally and emotionally taxing. I lose appetite, oversleep, cry, struggle to work, or feel like a generally functioning human being. 

 

I think people experiencing SAD can often feel invalidated, or at least I have felt this; the disorder can easily be misunderstood and minimised as ‘winter blues’ and merely feeling down because of a bit of rain.

 

It can feel really lonesome and silly to feel so reduced and affected by something beyond your control. I have had many thoughts like ‘why am I like this over the weather, this feels so stupid!’ It is a debilitating experience. 

 

Talking therapies have helped me gather my thoughts and make better sense of my feelings. I try my best to journal when I do do something that feels like a challenge, such as grabbing a coffee with a friend (although it can feel really disheartening to write ‘today I got out of bed and went to work and came back to bed’ for several days – so I try not to persecute myself if I don’t consistently journal).

 

As much as my body tells me not to, socialising does tend to improve my mood and make me feel better as it invokes a sense of normality and makes me feel a bit more resilient – why should the seasonal change dictate my life?

 

Thinking this way has allowed me to regain some power back. Additionally, I take supplements such as vitamin D and try to eat more vegetables and fruit so that I protect my dry skin (the colder months dry my skin out, which often makes me feel even worse about myself). There is a temptation to indulge in carbohydrate-heavy and sugary foods during the winter for me, however I try to keep this at a sensible level. 

 

Moreover, I put up the Christmas decorations earlier if I feel like it will lift my spirits. I know this may be controversial… but the festive lights and decoration make me feel happier and excited, so some winters I do this to help myself. 

 

Be gentle and kind to yourself if you experience SAD. As I mentioned above, it can feel isolating, frustrating, and invalid. It is a very real experience and there is support available out there. Remember that seasons change and pass, as does the dark gloomy cloud that is SAD.

Each year as winter looms, I remind myself that I have got through every bout of SAD before, and I can do it again. There is always that little bit of hope that this year, maybe, it won’t be as bad.”

Living with anxiety and Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Gemma’s experiences

Gemma Lupton is 33 and lives in Sheffield. She has lived with both anxiety and SAD for most of her life.

“I’ve been living with anxiety for pretty much my whole life, but it was officially diagnosed when I was 19. It’s the same with SAD, it’s affected me my whole life, but I have noticed it has gotten worse as I have got older. 

 

For me, SAD presents itself in a few ways: lower mood, lack of energy, low motivation, sleeping more, not wanting to get out of bed, getting frustrated more easily, issues with my appetite, heightened anxiety.

 

These are challenging for me in day-to-day life as it makes everything feel much more difficult, it makes me harder to be around and I find everything to be much more of an effort. 

 

My coping skills include trying to get out for fresh air every day (exercise is the main one for me), reaching out to friends, using SAD lamps and taking vitamin D supplements.

 

I make sure I have meals in the house that are quick and easy to make on those days where my energy is lacking or I can’t be bothered to cook / have low appetite, and drinking water, getting enough sleep, and keeping to a routine also helps.

 

My advice for someone struggling with SAD is first of all to try and take care of yourself- physical exercise and a good diet can be vital in helping your energy levels and lower anxiety etc.

 

Of course, reaching out for support seems obvious but it’s worth mentioning as a lot of people don’t always think to do that, or realise that they can. Try and plan a nice activity for yourself every day, such as a nice bubble bath or a yoga class. 

 

Try and spend some time in nature/outside every day. Getting some vitamin D and some fresh air can be really helpful. I also recommend SAD lamps too.”

 

 

 

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