Information on simple/specific phobias

Living with a fear of clowns

As long as I can remember I have lived with the fear of clowns (coulrophobia). I always thought I was on my own but over the years I have realised there are a lot of people in the same situation as me. None of my family or friends realise how afraid I am. They used to think it was a joke, and I suppose to most people, it does sound silly.

My Dad always remembers taking me to the circus as a youngster; a clown apparently came up to me trying to be funny. Dad said I was petrified and jumped on to his knee, crying. I guess this may be where my fear stems from. I do remember that I used to go to friends parties but would always ask if they were going to have a clown beforehand - if they did, I wouldn't go. Some people must wonder what the big deal is? For me, I just can't bear their painted faces, curly wigs and big size 12 shoes.

Lauren

Living wih a fear of snakes

I have a phobia of snakes. Even the word makes me feel ill and my phobia has become worse over time. My mother says that I was always dubious of snakes, but not to the degree that I am today. I can remember a school trip when I was about 5 when we went to the zoo. I actually went into the reptile house and looked at them through the glass, whilst hugging my teacher - something that makes my head feel heavy just thinking about it now. My phobia became worse, and at one point even cartoon images upset me. I had a friend at school who exaggerated the situation by saying I had to "pull myself together". I also had very unsupportive teachers at secondary school who got angry with me as when I sat my GCSE's I actually vomited on an exam paper, and fell off my chair, completely irrationally. My parents had warned them but they paid no attention to the situation.

Over the last 5 years, I have been pursuing my dream to become a teacher, and I think this has actually helped me. I had to supervise some children when a visiting reptile handler came to show the children a variety of snakes, lizards etc. I can remember scratching my arm in panic. However, I managed to stay in the room -something I viewed positively. I have been accustoming myself to pictures, etc. but have not been brave enough to deal with the real thing yet - the thought makes me ill.

I had a nasty experience last year, when on a holiday with a Brownie Group. We were visiting a rainforest where there was one glass tank with one python in it. I decided to see how it would go, however on our way, I shared my problem with what I believed to be a sensitive member of the staff, only to be ridiculed. This resulted in me becoming a shivering wreck and I could not go through with seeing the python.

I believe that many people underestimate how badly phobias effect everyday life, and many people are so narrow-minded, that they will never appreciate the perspective of a sufferer of a phobia. A dear friend of mine, has a mortal fear of going through a door into a room full of people. So many people laugh at her, but we have an empathy for each other.

Phobias do rule lives. Phobias do cause no end of problems, and phobias are genuine.

Kelly

I have had a bird phobia for as long as I can remember.

It started with being attacked by a large male pigeon in a big square in Copenhagen when I was 4 years old. This was followed by having a boy thorw a live chicken at me when I was 6 (he discovered my fear and thought he was being clever). As a result of being taken to the movies when I was 7 to see the film, 'The Birds' I then began to faint. When I was 11 and 12 years respectively, a black bird and then a sparrow flew in through my bedroom window. I received very little sympathy from my family, most of whom loved birds, except for my maternal aunt, who also had a bird phobia.

By the time I was 26, I was in such a state of constant anxiety living in Toronto where there are millions of birds that I actually walked out in front of a moving bus to avoid the dreaded creature. I eventually got help at Sunnybrook Hospital's phobia clinic and received behaviour modification training. Part of the course involved having to go on trips around Toronto with my friend to seek out anxiety-provoking situations so that I could learn how to handle them. I am still terrified of birds, but as I live in Northern British Columbia, there are not so many birds in your face as there are in the city. My eldest daughter and my niece also have bird phobias, so I wonder if there might be a genetic component in addition to the childhood traumas. I say this because neither my niece or my daughter have experienced any acute incidents with birds like I did, but they still have a fear. People always ask me why I 'hate' birds. I have to explain to them that I don't hate them, I fear them. The only bird I am not afraid of is the duck and the hummingbird. The worst birds for me are pigeons, sea gulls, swallows and chickens. I also don't like feathers.

Thank you for reading my story.

Marianne

I have 3 main phobias....wasps, flying and spiders.

I am terrified of wasps....people say rational things like 'stand still and it won't sting you' which probably sounds like very sensible advice until you understand that rationalising an irrational fear simply doesn't work. It is the equivalent of me saying to someone 'stay still' when being run at by a wild bear or tiger. That's the level of fear I feel. I once ran across the road to escape the stripy little flies of evil and then realised I had left my 3 year old son on the other side. I can think of nothing else when wasps are around and avoid BBQ's etc. so I don't have to face my fear.

Believe me....it annoys me and frustrates me far more than it could possibly annoy or frustrate any of you. Spiders are similar but at least I can cope with them if they don't come too near me. Also, when they are in their own habitat (i.e. not my home) I can bear them more for some reason (not ON me though).

Flying is a real pain as in my heart I am a wanderer and traveller. I love the thought of experiencing new cultures and places. However, my fear keeps me stuck here. It all begins with the fact that I can't get over having to walk through a 'terminal' ... how much more warning do you need?!! But seriously, the lack of control and being inside a pressurised container, trusting a complete stranger to get me somewhere, I just can't get past this fear. At least if a bus crashes there's at least a chance of survival. I know people say helpful things like 'there's more chance of winning the lottery than dying in a plane crash' but I say that's what everyone who dies in a plane crash tells themselves too.

Jacqui

I have a debilitating fear of spiders which seems to be intensifying as I get older.

I know my fear comes from my father and I have been afraid of them for as long as I can remember, but it has got to the stage now that if I am caught in a room with one, I will go into hysterics and hyperventilate. I will cry uncontrollably and get angry with myself as I cannot even get close enough to the wretched things to even hoover them up or spray them. I travelled in Australia and had some close calls with some huge spiders out there, however none of them caused anywhere near the same type of reaction that I now have. I know its stupid as they are so small compared to me, but they are so fast.

Philomena

I have a phobia of cockroaches.

I am 47 years old and I have been afraid of them since I was two years old. Even as I share this with you, I am feeling anxious, but I am glad I can share this with people who understand my fear. I have two older brothers who believed in my fear of these creatures and they have always been very understanding. However it has been extremely difficult to hide this fear at work where cockroaches frequently appear during the hot summer months. Being in a supervisory position, the last thing I want is to embarrass myself in front of my co-workers. Unfortunately this happened one day, and whilst some of my co-workers were understanding, others were not and to this day still make fun of me. They also believe that if they expose me to cockroaches then this will relieve me of my fear. Any time they bring up the subject, I feel sick to my stomach, start sweating and have trouble breathing. I try to quickly remove myself from the situation and find myself going into the ladies room or leaving the office and hiding in my car until I am able to pull myself together. Usually after these episodes I have nightmares about cockroaches attacking me, experience headaches and feel extremely vulnerable for days. I do hope that eventually I will be able to overcome this phobia and that more people become aware of the reality of phobias like this to enable them to understand what people like myself go through. I did not choose to have this phobia - I don't like having it and as much as I try to control my fear, it continues to dominate my life.

Thank you for allowing me to share my story.

Elva

I have lived with a fear of insects all my life and have managed to cope reasonably well up until last year.

I moved to a new home which is a semi and it seems to attract more insects than anywhere else I have ever lived. I am unable to go into the garden and when I do try spiders seem drawn to me and I end up shaking and actualy being sick. I am terrified of all insects except woodlice - which is very strange. If I see an insect I shake, vomit and itch all over and I can't rest until its gone. If its late at night I am unable to sleep for fear that something is crawling over me. I once found a caterpillar in my broccoli and felt sick for three days. Since then I haven't eaten any green vegetables. I am constantly asking my husband to evict insects and am feeling very down as my fear seems to be becoming worse. I am frighted of the effect it will have on my life if this continues, there is also the chance I will make my four year old terrified too. It helps to talk about it but some people think you are just being dramatic and should just get over it. With the help of this website I have tracked down a hypnotherapist in my area and am hoping to obtain some treatment. I don't wish to hold a spider or anything ridiculous but it would be nice to just enjoy my lovely home without being consumed by fear.

Samantha

I definitely found this website very helpful especially as I've been living with the fear of caterpillars for the majority of my life and I'm only 20 years old.

It seems as if noone understands how I feel because I'm so afraid of them. I can't even look at them in a picture as I start to breathe heavy and my heart beats 10 times quicker. I just wish I could get rid of this feeling. People don't know how it feels to be afraid to go outside and to be afraid to walk under trees. They think you are being dramatic and are just looking for attention, but who in the world would want that kind of attention. I even become terrified if I hear a story about caterpillars. If someone knows how to help me, I would definitely accept advice!

Lee

For as long as I can remember I have had a debilitating fear of heights.

I can cope in a tall building or airplane etc. as they are enclosed, but if I am close to an open drop I feel dizzy, sick and weepy, often crying and shaking. I imagine myself slipping or some kind of accident happening to push me over the edge. Oddly I am not worried about the falling or even the landing, it is the going over the edge that makes me feel sick. I can't go over footbridges although I am fine in a car or train on a bridge. I can't have open windows on upper floors or go on roof terraces or balconies as I am convinced I will topple over the edge. I can't even watch other people standing close to edges without feeling sick. It is very frustrating.

Lesley

I have a morbid fear of birds.

Although I don't recall ever being atacked by a bird or anything, I have an intense desire to avoid their presence at all costs. Whether dead or alive (sometimes dead is worse as they will not go away and I can't stand looking at the bodies of dead birds), I cannot stand their presence. As Marianne said, pigeons, seagulls, and chickens are amongst the scariest birds to me. For some reason I am not terrified by hummingbirds and have less of a fear of ducks. Anyway I don't know what else to say except I feel very foolish sometimes because I often get ridiculed by friends who don't understand why these creatures bother me. Unfortunately I cannot understand it either, but that does little to ameliorate the situation.

Temi

I have always had a small fear of heights,but when I was pregnant with my first child I got on an escalater and I froze.

Since then my fear has got worse. When I was expecting my second child I had to go up an another escalator which was an open kind. Unfortunately my partner was not very sympathetic and went on ahead. I panicked and went on but cried all the way up. Since this experience I have avoided escalators wherever I can. My partner has helped a bit and if I have to go on one he holds my hand tight and I shut my eyes. I struggle when I go to shopping centres (they are all so high) and I have to go as close to the shops as I cant go near the edge. If my children get close to the edge my heart starts pounding. I don't know if there are other people like me but I am OK on cliffs or mountain type situations - I can even look over the edge.

Sharon

I have a severe phobia of butterflies and moths.

My heart is racing just typing the 'b' and 'm' words I don't remember how this started - my mum says she doesn't recall me ever liking them. I'm now 37. I can't even look at photographs of them. It's awful, because most people think butterflies are 'beautiful' and their images can be found everywhere: on clothes, in advertisments, on cards, pictures etc. etc I know I'm partly responsible for the severity of the phobia because I am terrified to get help. I'm too scared to confront the objects of my fear and it is this avoidance which has exacerbated the problem for so many years. Thanks for letting me share my experience.

Cerys

I am terrified of both needles and fish.

People can understand my fear of needles and just think I''m over reacting but no one understands about the fish. I was in a restaurant on holiday last year talking to the person next to me when unbeknown to me the waiter came up behind me with the fish platter. When I turned round and came face to face with the plate I filled with panic, flung my chair back knocking wine on the table behind me and began sobbing uncontrollable. It was one of the most humiliating and terrifying moments of my life. My boyfriend understands and came straight over but the rest of the table were angry which made it all worse. People seem to think you are doing it for attention which just shows how little they understand.

I've tried hypnotherapy but it did\'t work for me but am desperate to find some helpful hints soon as I need some dentistry work done as I have had to have fillings in the past without anesthetic to avoid the needles but can't face that again.

Tory

Living with emetophobia.

I am 20 and I have had a fear of being sick nearly all my life. I don't know why I feared being sick so much but it totally took over my life. I used to go to extraordinary lengths to avoid anything to do with being sick. I would wash my hands abotu 5 times before eating. If I knew someone was ill, I would stay away from them for at least 2 weeks. There were even very irrational things I did such as avoiding the number 6 because it sounds like 'sick'. After 9 years of going through this I went to my GP and was referred on to a programme of cognitive behavioural therapy. I was taught to challenge my thoughts and set tasks to challenge my beliefs. I remember having to write the number 6 down fifteen times a day for 2 weeks to prove that nothing would happen. I could never say that it was easy but it worked and now although I haven't been sick again since having this phobia it has nothing to do with my life and I never even think of it. I just want to tell anyone that has this phobia, you may think you will never get over this fear, but you can. Go for it.

Sharon

I am 22 and have been suffering with a mixture of phobias and anxiety disorders for about 4 years.

It all seems to lead back to obsessive thoughts. I used to be able to get in lifts, planes, trains and go wherever I liked but now I am restricted as I seem to have a mixture of claustrophobia, illness phobia and agoraphobia. I have lost my self-confidence and sometimes get frightened for no particular reason. I cannot be in a situation where I am unable to get home and have real problems travelling outside what I would call my 'safe area'. So being stuck in a traffic jam outside of my 'safe area' would send me to immediate panic. During panic, I experience dizziness, increased heart rate, de-personalisation, fast breathing etc. I don't suffer with panic often, but anxiety and worry is with me everyday which causes my physical problems that I believe to be serious illnesses like 'cancer'.

I attended counselling sessions provided by the NHS which helped with coping with everyday anxiety but not the phobias. I write to tell anybody that has developed phobias from anxiety problems, if you can understand and learn to control the general everyday anxiety symptoms and cause (if you know what the cause is?), you can then concentrate on the specific phobias. I did this by going to a counselling session that, at first, I believed wouldn't work.

I have begun working on my inability to travel outside my 'safe area' and have managed to visit a friend of mine that I previously was unable to. Good luck.

Scott

I have had a phobia of wasps, which has in turn come to include bees and flies, for as long as I can remember.

It has taken me until this summer to talk normally to people about it because people always tell me it's silly because it doesn't hurt when you get stung. The problem is that no-one likes them, but not with the same severity, which makes it hard for them to understand. I went to my GP in Edinburgh to ask about treatment, but she told me the waiting list for really effective help would be about 5 years. I wasn't prepared to wait that long, so I got a job in Germany and as soon as I start paying medical insurance over here, I can be treated. It's such a refreshing change in attitude over here: that a psychologist/psychiatrist is just viewed as another type of doctor, and not as a taboo subject.

Sarah

My experience of spider phobia:

Eight oversized, twisted legs, harrowing cold eyes that stare straight at you and a general alien aura. Picturing this and my palms are already beginning to sweat, the spider my sworn enemy. I can't really remember when my battle with the species began, but my most vivid memory was climbing up the ladder of my bunk bed to find it was already occupied by this large, still, black monster.

As a child the fear never particularly bothered me as I would just stay away from sheds, not go on camping trips etc. I would also hair spray all the cracks in the wall and check my bed before I slept. Now however it seems that I can't avoid spiders. My reaction to spiders is dependent on their size. In almost all cases I will go into a state of paralysis, being unable to remove myself from the situation with my knees turning to jelly. If the spider is particularly close by or large then I may proceed with vomiting. My fear is stupidly irrational but unlike my fear of sharks, where I can avoid open water at all times and so avoid the fear, with this phobia I feel completely helpless.

Tracy

Dog phobia.

For as long as I can remember, I have had a phobia of dogs. I really want to get over it but I don't think I am able to. It is scary sometimes because I will see a dog and if it is coming towards me I will run and if I had to, I would probably run in front of a car. I can deal with them if they are on a lead but if they aren't I go into a totally different place and it doesn't matter what people say or do, it does not affect me. This problem also impacts on my social life because if my friends have dogs I am unable to go to their house and also if we are out and I see a dog, it gets very embarrassing as I have to move away quickly.

Emma

Living with Emetophobia - fear of being sick.

For as long as I can remember I have had the fear of being sick or anything else associated with vomiting. I cannot be in the same room as anyone who feels sick for fear that they will do it in front of me. This fear has been debilitating to the point of avoiding nightclubs, pubs, travel on planes, boats. Although I managed to have three children and suffered nausea with all three for some reason I managed to handle my condition. With this phobia I have often missed out on holidays, going on nights out into town, travelling on coaches etc. I don't remember the first time I was fearful of vomiting it seems to have been with me forever. I have tried at times to rationalise my fear but it always gets the better of me. I think I do associate it with dirty toilets because the whole thing about vomiting brings to me a dirty yukky smelly scenario. I can remember every single time in my life that I have vomited and if I can will avoid the situation happening. I will certainly avoid foods which may cause food poisoining. I have never been drunk and wouldn't consider it either. I avoid drunk people if I am out and if I were to see anyone looking as though they were likely to end up being sick I would leave the place first. I don't know how I handled my children's early years looking back. I don't know if it was because they were small and needed me, it was a truly testing time for me. My husband was always the one who would sit with them if they were sick; I would stand behind a closed door and put my hands over my ears so that I couldn't hear them. And yet what was so odd I could clean up after them. I would use lots of hot water and disenfectant and bleach....how odd is that??? But to this day I will avoid anyone who says that they have a stomach bug and if I have been in the same room I seem to be waiting to get it myself, working myself up about it until I do feel sick. I won't eat much until I know that I definitely haven't caught it!

This phobia has affected my life and my relationship with my husband, as I have been too embarrassed to tell him about my fear until recently. He has been asked to be best man to his friend in the States next year and wants to travel with me. I would love to go but I know that my fear will get the better of me. I do hope that one day I can get over this fear.

Mandy

I have had a fear of ships of all things for years!

Not travelling on them, but seeing them close up, or, much worse, sunk. A picture of a shipwreck is so terrifying I cannot look at it at all. Living close to the River Clyde, you can imagine how embarrassing it was for me when travelling on the train, to ask my friends to tell me when the 'big ships' were out of view as I turned to look out the other window. Often they would lie and I would turn round just as the train was passing one particular vessel that was laid up - my heart would almost burst (and naturally, my friends found it excessively funny)

The odd thing is that whilst terrified of them (and incidentally, anything industry related next to a river - such as cranes, the dock walls even ) I found it soon became a fascination. The excitement the adrenilin gave me became addictive, and I started deliberately visiting the docks. On my first attempt at this I managed to stand quite close to the giant Clydeport crane - but could only do so for a couple of minutes - sweat pouring down my face and back, my heart racing something frightening.

Bit by bit I increased my visits to the dock and noticed that some form of latent fascination was developing into real fascination. Now hooked on ships, I started on a new hobby that has held me ever since (some thirty years or so). So much so I have been running websites about the Clyde and its ships for years now. But they still terrify me, especially, for some peculiar reason, if they are old and rusty. There is a wreck on the Clyde that lies semi-submerged on its side - to this day I simply cannot look at it without being so horror struck - I have NEVER looked at it through binoculars, and even thinking of doing so is - well, unthinkable. I did once try and do a search for wreck related pictures, but after only three attempts at looking at sunken vessels, I gave up.

So I now love ships, the sea and the River Clyde - but don't ask me to watch the film Titanic - I tried, but as the part nears where she hits the iceberg, I had to stop. No idea where it comes from - a past life perhaps?

Bruce

My experience is of a driving phobia which started quite unexpectably with seemingly no precurser.

I have always been able to drive anywhere and had frequently driven to Scotland, Devon, Sussex and up and down from Manchester to North Yorkshire. I was hit from behind on the motorway once and was nervous after that but nothing out of the ordinary. Then one day I was driving down an ordinary A road and I had a full blown panic attack which left me feeling totally out of control and as if I was going to die or crash the car. I had to pull over and it took me ages to move off again. I almost contacted my husband to come and get me but he was working away. Since then the panic feelings can occur at any time while driving or at the prospect of driving on a motorway in particular. I am almost convinced that we will have an accident and if I am driving my vision blurs and I hyperventilate causing me to feel dizzy and out of control. I am consequently not safe driving on these roads and it is particularly bad with my baby in the car. However, the phobia is now also affecting me as a passenger which is causing arguments between myself and my husband.

Tracy

A different slant on fear of insects:

I feel people have little understanding of phobias and the feelings and effects that come with a phobia. I also feel that my phobia is often seen as silly. I fear insects but I fear the look of them and find it difficult to explain this. When you say you are afraid of insects people react by saying 'they won't hurt you'. I know they won't and this isn't my fear. And don't people just love to tell you of their experiences with insects when you tell them you have a fear. Why do people do this? My fear is about the look of insects. I find them so repulsive, so ugly and can't seem to grasp their intricacies, hairy bits, how they work, what is inside them. I can't look at anything from ants to beetles and those things beginning with 'c' that I can't even bear to type. Moths and butterflies may look beautiful to some people but if I see their bodies, my tongue stings with shock and I cry inconsolably. I'd love to watch nature programmes but those unusal insects that you find in humid countries have me vomiting. The worst thing in the world is a praying mantis. I once saw one on the front cover of a book in a shop and had to run out to find somewhere to cry without showing myself up. I hate the TV advert that starts with a dung beetle because you have no warning that it is going to come on and the shock of it is so debilitating - so you can avoid insects to a certain extent, but when they are there, in your face and you have no control over looking at them - well, it's not helpful at all. I want to travel all over the world but just can't do it. I would love help but I am so afraid that I will have to look at insects as part of therapy that I just can't bring myself to get help.

Denise

I have had a fear of needles ever since I can remember.

I think it must have started when I was about 7 years old when I was living overseas. A young boy threw an old piece of wood at me which had a rusty nail in it - the nail went into the side of my forehead and I had to be rushed to hospital for several Tetanus injections. Ever since then, I can't even think about needles because I start to feel dizzy, nauseous and sweaty and feel that I need to lie down. This fear is really debilitating as it has now morphed into a general fear of doctors and hospitals. I can't stand the smell of hospitals or any place that smells like hospitals (a smell of a particular type of disinfectant). I can't have injections or blood tests without practically blacking out and the other day I went to see an acupuncturist for a problem that I've been having with sinus infections (thought it might also help me to face my fear of needles) and as soon as she started putting those tiny needles in my legs, I had to be put into the recovery position because I nearly fainted. People without phobias have no idea how people with phobias feel. They think its irrational and believe me I know it is but I can't be rational when it comes to needles. I am actually really worried that I won't want to have children because I'll have to have blood tests etc. This is a frightening thought as I am a real family person.

Lucy

I had what was a deblitating fear of dogs from about the age of 3.

It had stemmed from a dog chasing me when once walking alongside the pram with my mother. Since then I was unable to function rationally when in the prescence of a dog, even if they were with their owners on a lead. I could not walk on the same side of the pavement and even from the distance I would be nervous. Further unpleasant encounters with dogs made my fear only worse. I was unable to play in parks where dogs were likely to be present and visiting houses of dog owners was extremely traumatic. I would be anxious for days leading up to any visits and was entirely on edge for the time I was there, despite the fact friends were good enough to shut their dogs away whilst I was around.

At 15 my fear was only getting worse and it had quite a large effect on my day to day activities. Then my parents dropped a bombshell; they announced they were going to home a rescued dog. They felt it would help me get over the fear. When we first got the dog it was absolutely awful. I couldn't be with the dog alone, I couldn't eat in front of the dog (she kept trying to steal my food). I also couldn't be in the same room when we first arrived home from anywhere as the dog would be really excitable. More and more I was spending my entire evenings in my room away from the dog and my parents were beginning to think they had made a big mistake and so started to look into getting the dog rehomed. Then one day we were in town and we passed an engravers and my dad mentioned that we should get an identity tag engraved for the dog, he then looked at me and asked 'What do you think Lauren? Will it be worth while getting one?'. In other words he was asking should we keep the dog? So the decision was down to me; it was my chance to get rid of what was making my homelife a misery, but I chose to keep the dog. I knew I had a perfect opportunity to get over the fear. From that day on I made more of an effort. It didn't happen miraculously overnight but little by little I got used to Cassie and her behaviour and that she didn't mean any harm. I never expected to completely get over my fear, but actually I pretty much have. I hardly ever give it a second thought when a dog passes me unleashed in a park, never mind when I pass one on the street with a lead.

Getting Cassie, our little whippet, (one of the laziest breed of dogs on this green earth believe it or not) was one of the best moves my parents ever made for me. You never quite realise how much a fear can run your life until you overcome it. I would recommend getting a dog to anyone wishing to overcome this fear - it won't come instantly, it's a working process but you'll get there and you'll make quite a good pet friend along the way!

Lauren

Since the age of 6 or 7 years old I have had a phobia of jewellery.

I can wear it myself only if its new, but I physically can't touch it if I know someone has worn it. The jewellery can't even be in my sight it has to be hid where I don't know. I can physically vomit, and often wonder if anyone else suffers from it. Its weird but I can't help it. I am now 31 years of age.

Avril

Moths and butterflies plague my life.

I can't even look at a picture of them. This problem ruins summer for me and now I've also become terrified of caterpillars. I am reduced to a hysterical wreck when I am confronted with them and the problem is worse if I am in a confined space. My family have to check rooms for me and I can't have the windows open. I'm too scared to get help and I did think that I was improving since moving to the country. I can sort of cope outdoors but inside I freak out. I suppose I found it heartening to know there are others out there with the same irrational fear and that I'm not just 'being silly'.

Andrea

I have suffered with a needle phobia all my life, and was increasingly fed up at how bothered I was by this; married, aged 39 and too scared to seek help about starting a family because of the blood tests I knew this would incur.

I have been having Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, and whilst at session 8 I had a full-blown, grade-9 panic attack watching my therapist have blood drawn (I sobbed, howled, whimpered, panted, cowered and shook but stopped short of passing out, I watched again yesterday (session 9) and whilst I was anxious, I was nowhere near crying and watched the whole thing without even flinching. I realise now that I was only really anxious about whether I'd have another grade-9 panic...not really about the needle at all. Panic attacks of that magnitude are seriously frightening and unpleasant and I now realise that it's THAT that I'm scared of experiencing, not the actual blood test. I have my own booked for a fortnight's time, and guess what...obviously I'm nervous but I'm more worried that I'll panic than worried about the blood test itself, and whilst it's unpleasant, I know it will not kill me - so bring it on.

Heather

I have had a phobia of buttons all of my life.

Even typing the word affects me. I find it difficult to describe the feeling that they invoke in me. I have just been hanging up some cloathes and accidently came across my partner's top with those things on. Now I can't get the image of them out of my head and I guess on some level I feel a little aggitated by it.

This ridiculous fear has blighted me all of my life; it would cause so many arguments with my mother because I could not wear the pretty blouses that she would want me to wear. School was a nightmare.

It even affects the types of job I can get because of the uniforms involved. I worked for a short while with M&S when the staff uniform was cream T shirts, but I could not go back now because the staff seem to be wearing blouses.

It also affects how I relate to other people; I have been remote with genuinely nice people before now because of what they were wearing when I met them. If I touch one I have to wash my hands or rub it off. In fact I hate them so much I don't think I could cope with the thought of being a magic pill to cure me of it.

Geraldine

Red in the face.

I have suffered from chronic blushing for around 10 years. I am now 26 and can remember the extreme blushing as far back as when I was around 13. It didn't become a real problem for me until I was around 18, but ever since then it has affected almost every aspect of my life and causes me a great deal of stress. I would love to be able to just walk down the street and not worry about my blushing but every time I see another person or a car drive by, alarm bells start to ring in my head and I panic, thinking 'will I blush? Will they see me blush? What will people think of me if they see me blush for no (apparent) reason. It is this anxiety that is a root cause of the blushing - and the blushing is the root cause of all the anxiety. I have felt ashamed of my blushing and have kept it a secret from family and friends. After I finished university I did finally go to see a doctor, and 3 doctors later I entered into 6 months of 'therapy' at my local hospital. This made me realise the true extent of my problem but after the 6 months was up I was sent on my way with the offer of possible 'follow up' sessions. (I had wanted to take the lady therapist a bottle of wine to thank her - but I was too worried about the possibility of blushing when I handed it over, and so didn't.) A year later, after a failed (short) relationship, I finally had had too much and I broke down in front of my parents and told them everything. For the last 6 months I have been seeking private help and at a mere �125 per hour (nearly half my weekly salary) I have been seeing a psychotherapist once a week. Using a combination of CBT and hypnosis, he has been a help and I do feel like I am slowly on the mend (I blushed slightly about 3 times today). If I don't care about the blushing then it is far less likely to happen. I need to get rid of the shame that comes with the blushing. If I could only laugh it off and say 'oh I've gone red', then that's when I know that I am on the mend.

Tony

I have many varied phobias, starting with balloons.

If I'm standing in the queue at fast food outlets (or any where) & children are near with thev balloons on a stick, my heart races like you wouldn't believe. I has nothing to do with the popping of the balloon as I would rather eradicate it, so it would be gone. Fireworks are another - bonfire night for me is a total nightmare. Another is submarines - if I see one on a film, or photographs, these all evoke a feeling of dread and horror that is unbelievable. My other one is images of hangings (but I love to read books about this subject) and I cannot abide any one placing their hands near my neck. I think a lot of this. Could this may be past life stuff.... who knows.

Clare

I have had a fear of telephones for over 20 years.

It used to be making or receiving a call but now its when I see a phone because I fear that it is going to ring. Even photos of phones can cause my heart to pound. This has affected my life in the most awful way costing me relationships, jobs and money. Its not until you are afraid of something so central to modern life do you realise how life changing phobias can be. I've had treatment (talking therapy), I've also seen a psychiatrist and taken SSRI antidepressants - all without any results so now I am on a long waiting list to have CBT. Doctors can be so unforgiving about phobias and very unhelpful. I had one doctor who offered me a big list of helpline telephone numbers for me to ring in order to get help. I am not giving up on beating this phobias and will try anythin that can be offered to help.

Adam

My spider phobia....

I've suffered with a phobia of spiders for the last 20 years and I've decided I cannot take it anymore. Just this morning I turned on the shower and was about to get it when I saw one the size of my palm. I don't think I've ever experienced a panic attack like it - I cried, I was nearly sick and I couldn't stand up and it took me 2 hours to calm down. I've actually escaped from the house until my boyfriend came back as I can't bear to be in the house. I'm obsessive as I look in all four corners of the room before entering and I'm unable to do certain things like hang the washing because I know that they hide inside pegs. I have nightmares and actually go through phases of hallucinating occasionally. I would just like all of this to stop.

Penny

I've recently developed a phobia related to my own house.

I have close neighbours and thin walls - they played loud music and I trained myself to panic. I can relate to the fact that phobias are all about control - or a perceived lack of. I can also believe that phobias are made worse by avoidance. I started avoiding spending time in my house to the point where I'm now mostly staying with my parents. The crazy thing is that the noisy neighbours moved out and I introduced myself to the new people. They're much quieter but still if I hear noise I start to panic. You can imagine the restrictions. At the minute I'm trying to find out if it's worth me persevering and trying to get back into my house gradually - or if I should just give up and buy a detached house.

Nicky

When I was 4 we had a housefire.

All my belongings were lost and as a result of this experience I developed 3 main phobias, fire, (understandably) throwing things away - I have obsessively hoarded for about 10 years and only recently stopped. The strangest of my phobias is however books; because of the fire damage all my books smelt of smoke, and until about 3 years ago I couldn't bring myself toopen them because they stank of smoke. Even if I get the slightest whiff on one of my parents' old books that we kept from that time I will go into a big panic and curl up on the ground. It's nice to see I am not the only one with bizarre phobias.

Stella

I have suffered with emetophobia my whole life.

I don't know how it started. I can't eat much for fear it will make me sick, which can be so frustrating. I can't travel, and dread even when people cough violently for fear they will vomit. The worst is when other people are ill, especially in my household. I wash my hands an awful lot and can't even sleep for fear I will wake up sick. In winter, the problem is particularly bad because of flu, colds and bugs. I have heard hypnotherapy is good so I'm going to look into this because living with emetophobia is very difficult and sometimes embarrassing. I want to be able to go out with friends, eat with them and live like everyone else. I am surprised at how common this phobia is.

Louise

I'm only sixteen, but I've developed a fear of getting on a bus by myself.

I've only ever got on a bus alone, once. I'm able to get on with other people, but I always make them buy my ticket. It's driving me mad, because I lead quite an active life, and often need to travel a slight distance but because of this phobia I have to either walk, or get a taxi, as I simply cant bare to get on a bus, by myself. Even when I'm with someone I know on a bus, I still don't like it and I panic when the bus starts to get full, because I think I won't be able to get through all the standing people to get off the bus, and the driver will end up driving off while I'm still onboard. My dad tried making me buy my ticket awhile back, while with him, and it made me panic so badly. I've never read of anyone else having this problem.

Bridget

Fear of needles and also flying insects.

Needles - I've been terrified of needles for as long as I can remember. When I was a baby I spent a lot of time in hospital suffering from anaemia and also growing up I've had to have a lot of blood tests, so I think my fear may come from this. Whenever I even think about injections I start to panic a little, and cry whenever I have to have one. I try to avoid having them as much as possible and even refuse them, which I know I shouldn't. Flying Insects - from being a child I have had a fear of wasps and bees, but as I have got older this has gradually become worse and I am now afraid of any kind of flying insect. With this phobia I also find myself panicking, even when looking at pictures of wasps or bees, or even hearing the buzzing noise. With both of these fears, people have always thought I was being silly and have found it hard to understand.

Stephanie

I've always been afraid of spiders but, my arachnophobia is getting worse with age.

It seems that my fear has got much worse since I've moved to the UK. Being from Florida originally, I've seen some massive ones, but they mostly stay outside. Here, on the other hand, they make themselves quite comfortable in my home. And the so called 'house spiders' are too big for me to handle. When I see one of those big black things, I go into immediate panic mode. I can't move and begin to hyperventilate and cry. I've had to call my friend in the middle of the night because a particularly large one was on the stairs and I couldn't do anything about it as I was freaking out so badly (thank goodness she and her husband were still up). Basically it's got to the point that I'm constantly searching the rooms when I walk into them, looking for anything that might look suspiciously like an eight-ledded creepy crawly. I've jumped and screamed before at the sight of a piece of fuzz out of the corner of my eye because I thought it might be a spider, much to my husband's amusment. There have been certain car adverts on TV that I can't watch because of their 'spider like' content and forget about any nature show that might have anything to do with spiders, no matter how interesting they might otherwise be I can't see one in any context without getting completely disgusted and feeling sick. The phobia has also started to affect my sleep, now that the weather is getting warmer and they're starting to come into season. I check all the corners of the bedroom, under my pillow and the sheets before getting in bed. But, after I turn off the light, I lay awake and wonder if I've missed one. It almost becomes an obsession, and I wind up having to turn the lights back on and check again. No matter how many times I check, once I have them in my head, I can't stop thinking about them and where they might be. I know this is quite a common phobia, but I feel like my friends think I'm being ridiculous when I blurt out 'it's going to get me' or 'it's chasing me' after seeing one. My husband is very understanding, though he does think it's a bit funny that I'm convinced that all spiders are out to get me. Even when I hear myself say it I know it's very ridiculous that something like that would try to purposely hurt me, but I can't help feeling like that way. Now after typing this I'll probably be thinking about spiders for the rest of the night.

Rae

I used to adore birds and would watch them from my window all the time.

Then my uncle took me to Trafalgar Square in London to teach me to feed the birds. Some idiot thought they would be clever and placed a handful of corn in my hair. Before I knew it I was covered in pigeons, flapping and beating their horrendous grey feathers. My eyes are actually pouring with tears as I write this. My uncle beat them off, but from that day onwards I have always feared birds, I also hate feathers. When I grew up, a violent ex boyfriend of mine placed his vicious pet macaw on my head, in the full knowledge I am terrified of birds, and began to laugh when it started to claw at me. I am now so scared I had to wait an hour for my brother in law to come three quarters of a mile after my pet cat killed a bird. I also have to have a cat as I feel birds won't land in my garden if they see a cat. Thank you for understanding my fear, no matter how ridiculous it seems.

Jo

I have a fear of blood that causes me to pass out at the smallest site of it.

I feel sick or dizzy just hearing people talk about the subject. I start flapping my arms if people mention it because I feel 'funny'. I have no idea where the fear started, I just know that I used to pass out at primary school so its been a fear that I have had since I was a child. I have passed out many times in the past often out in public due to the smallest cuts that most people wouldn't even notice and by passing out I have caused more damage to myself resulting in stitches and trips to casualty. Most of the time it hasnt been that bad but is embarrassing as it casues a comotion and I scare the people I am with as they don't know why I have passed. My family are worried that one day I will hit my head when passing out and do some serious damage. I try to kneel when I know I am going to pass out, but this often doesn't work. I would love to be able to get this under control so I at least stop passing out from a papercut. I also hate the idea of needles and anything related to blood.

Emma

I'm 25 and my fear of dogs is starting to affect me to the point where I won't cross fields, go to the beach or even visit friends.

I have to ask people if they have dogs before I visit their homes as I am more scared of my friend's reaction to my phobia than I am of the actual dog itself. Why do people not understand? The most common thing people with their dogs say when they see me is “oh he would'nt hurt a fly” and they LAUGH. That is what I am scared off... people just don't understand that I am petrified of dogs and laughing at me makes me feel so stupid and childish. I hate this phobia as dogs are everywhere.. but after reading a lady's comment about getting a dog to overcome this fear, I think I may do that in a year or two. Thank you. x

Lynne

I thought I'd conquered my phobia... apparently not.

My phobia is mottephobia - fear of moths. Last night, I was getting ready to go to bed when I discovered a large moth in my bedroom. I have no idea how it got there as I keep my window and door shut all the time. It swooped under my bed and then started dive bombing around the lamp shade. I screamed and just ran out of the room as fast as I could. As I stood in my kitchen, hyperventilating and crying and decided I had to find somewhere else to sleep. I could not go back in there - my bedroom is my 'sanctuary' and it had been infiltrated. I called my friend and explained what had happened and she said I could stay at her house. This morning she came back with me to my house and attempted to find the offending creature - but to no avail. She managed to get some clothes for me so I could at least get dressed as it is not an option for me to go back in there until I've seen the corpse - and can therefore be convinced that it won't be coming back. So, I am waiting for my sister-in-law to come round and hunt it out. I have had cognitive behavioural therapy in the past, but is hasn't 'stuck'. I really want to conquer this problem as I feel such a fool having to run to other people for help. It is getting ridiculous when I am scared to sleep in my own bedroom.

Samantha

I have a phobia of robots which I know sounds ridiculous.

I think it started when I was about 4 and my parents took me to see Father Christmas arrive on a train at a local town and he had a large silver robot with him. Now I know it was just someone dressed up but I can still remember the feelings of panic I had. I tried to climb off my dad's shoulders onto a nearby wall & remember feeling sick & crying. I sill get panicky & can't visit places that have robots - my husband would like to go to a Dr Who exhibition but that is definitely out of the question. I went once only to find that there was someone dressed up as a Cyberman and when they came up behind me and touched me on the shoulder I went hysterical. I also have a major phobia of mice which is getting worse as I get older. I don't even like looking at pictures of mice and keep 3 cats to keep mice at bay. I also have a really irrational fear of having my blood pressure measured and an increasing fear of doctors and hospitals but I think this is more likely to be a fear of being ill. All these phobias became more intense last summer when I had a severe bout of anxiety and couldn't socially interact. I would like to get rid of these phobias, especially the blood pressure one because I work as a nurse and it sounds so ridiculous.

Eileen

I have an awful fear of spiders.

So much so I cannot even say the word. I have to call them 'spders'. If I see one near me I suddenly have hysterics and start crying and screaming, barely able to stop my legs from crumbling. It is worse if I am inside or not free to escape (a small garden for example). If any one tries to come near me to console me I cant allow it, I cannot have anything touch me as I freak out. This fear has grown worse as I have got older (I am only 26 now ) . I am an actor and as such I often have to tour around old dusty theatre venues. I always have to warn those in my cast of my phobia as many people do not seem to fully understand a phobia is not a dislike of something, it is a totally debilitating, irrational and uncontrollable terror that most people cannot comprehend. On one occasion I was travelling to a theatre in the tour van (a simple ford transit) I was in the front passenger seat and there was just myself and the driver. I was checking the map when I noticed a small spider hanging from the roof a hands length from my face trying to land on my map. Obviously I totally freaked out and jumped onto the driver. She tried to pull over but in my terror I couldn't wait, luckily she managed to slow down considerably before I jumped from the moving car onto the embankment. Thank goodness it was a small country lane and nothing busier. I just wasn't thinking about myself or my drivers safety just that I had to escape. A truly terrifying experience. I never had to ask her twice to remove an offending creature from the bath for the remainder of the tour. I know my reactions are ridiculous and totally unnecessary but I cannot control it. I am more afraid of large British garden spiders than tarantulas but even pictures unnerve me.

Julia

From the age of about 3 or 4 I have always been scared of being sick and others being sick.

This phobia is hell. People didn't really understand what I was going through and couldn't understand why I was getting myself so wound up. I had a boyfriend who had a stomach complaint and was sick about once a week. I used to cry down the phone to my mum asking her to come and pick me up from his house for fear of getting a bug from him. Then I would wash my hands as soon as I got home. I couldn't even sit next to him for fear of him saying that he felt sick. My friends did understand in the end as they would see me totally freak out when I was out and one of them would have too much to drink and then be sick or someone felt sick. My heart would race and I would feel like crying and want to go home. I still wash my hands when I get home from work or seeing my friends. I don't eat at BBQ's anymore for fear of getting food poisoning. I would like to get past this fear but I feel like there is no way. I have been to hypnotherapy and for me it did not work. I would like to hear from anyone who has this phobia. I would like to know other peoples experiences.

Hayley