Development of the project- Who can be affected by toilet phobia?
- Causes of toilet phobia
- Treatment of toilet phobia
- How we can help
- The Project
- New toilet phobia Summary Sheets
- Personal Experiences
- Useful Links
History of the project
The project came about after Anxiety UK was approached by the Lewis Family Charitable Trust (LFCT). LFCT proposed that a campaign was required to explore the various aspects of toilet related anxiety, how it affects people and to raise awareness of the help that is available to sufferers of this condition. As Anxiety UK takes many calls every year relating to various aspects of toilet related anxiety, we felt that we the Charity was well placed to lead on the project.
Development of the project
By identifying existing Anxiety UK members who were affected by toilet related anxiety willing to become involved (anonymously or otherwise) in helping us with the project, we were able to discuss the various ways that toilet related anxiety can be experienced. After an analysis of the case studies that we received, we were able to define the main conditions which appear to relate to difficulties in using the toilet. These were:
- Social phobia – commonly involving worries that people are aware of you using the toilet, people noticing you using the toilet or that people may hear you using the toilet
- OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) – involves factors such as worrying that the toilet is contaminated or being unable to use facilities that are deemed “unclean”
- Agoraphobia – worrying about leaving the house unless there is a “safe” toilet that can be used combined with fears around soiling or urinating ones self if leaving a deemed “safe” locality
- Parcopresis – fear of defecating in public places
- Paruresis – fear of urinating in public places
- Panic attacks/Panic disorder – fear of being unable to use a toilet in a public place.
- Specific phobia – specific fear of a toilet or toilet related situation
Most of the individuals discussing these experiences classified the anxiety as toilet phobia. Therefore the term “Toilet Phobia” became the umbrella term adopted to describe specific fears concerned with the toilet.
Who can be affected by toilet phobia?
Toilet phobia can affect anyone at any time and ranges from a mild disruption through to a significant disruption of daily life.
Causes of toilet phobia
Toilet phobia can be caused by a variety of factors including anxiety, fear, specific experience or trauma and learnt behaviour from someone close. Causes of Toilet Phobia can often be a combination of these factors or none of the above.
Treatment of toilet phobia
It is generally accepted that CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) is the recommended treatment for toilet phobia due to the fact that it is an evidence based therapy. However, many individuals cited clinical hypnotherapy, counselling, guided self help and other lifestyle changes as being helpful in providing benefit to managing the condition.
How we can help
Anxiety UK is a user-led charity with more than forty years experience in supporting those living with anxiety. By becoming a member of Anxiety UK, you will have access to a range of benefits, including:
- Access to reduced cost therapy within two weeks of submitting your therapy request
- Access to our helpline (available Monday-Friday, 9:30 am – 5:30 pm) staffed by volunteers with personal experience of anxiety
- Receipt of four issues of Anxious Times, our quarterly members” magazine
- Access to the members only section of our website, featuring regular support surgeries facilitated by anxiety experts
- Access to specialist helplines, including the psychiatric pharmacy helpline and the psychology information helpline
And many, many other benefits that will help you manage your anxiety long term. To become a member of Anxiety UK click here or ring 08444 775 774 today.
The project
Following on from undertaking research involving those affected by toilet phobia, we organised a seminar event at the Royal Society of Medicine where professionals and inspirational speakers were invited to give presentations on the condition in an effort to develop shared understanding and an agreement on various forms of treatment that may be found useful by those affected. Below we have made available a selection of the presentations from the day:
- ‘Toilet Phobia’ – Getting to the bottom of it
Anxiety UK - What is toilet phobia? History, research and the present status of toilet phobia
Paul Salkovskis, Kings College London - Creating conditions for Self Empowerment
- Toilet Phobia- its relation to agoraphobia and social phobia
Karina Lovell, University of Manchester - Unwrapping paruresis – From what is known to what we still need to know
Alex Gardner
Following the feedback derived from this event, we developed an information booklet and information DVD aimed at raising awareness and promoting the treatments available. These are available by visiting the Anxiety UK online shop.
The project also involved raising awareness of toilet phobia which, Anxiety UK has achieved through working closely with the media (click here to read the toilet phobia press release). Hearing others talking openly about their experience of toilet phobia has had the effect of encouraging other individuals affected to speak up about the condition. We are hoping that the more people discuss this issue, the more the stigma associated with this condition will reduce. For many people who are affected by toilet phobia, there is a double stigma in that they are not only experiencing anxiety which can be difficult to discuss, but that it also relates to the taboo subject of anxiety around toilets.
New toilet phobia summary sheets
Following the success of the toilet phobia (TP) professional chat sessions, Anxiety UK is happy to bring TP sufferers a new resource – summary sheets from the professional chats. Below are summaries of the advice and queries of TP sufferers that have attended the previous 3 chats on urology, cCBT and Clinical Hypnotherapy. This advice may also be useful to sufferers of other conditions.
- Toilet Phobia and Urology
- Toilet Phobia and Clinical Hypnotherapy
- Toilet Phobia and CCBT
- Toilet Phobia and Agoraphobia
- Toilet Phobia and IBS
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Personal experiences
Do you suffer from toilet phobia and want to share your experience with other people? Post your personal experience in the comments box below where it will be sent to our moderator for approval. Many people find this part of the site very useful when trying to understand their disorder so your comments really do make a difference. Please note, all comments submitted to the Anxiety UK website may be used by Anxiety UK for (but not limited to) publicity and promotional material.
If you would like to make contact with others who are living with similar experiences, you can do so via the Anxiety UK pen pals scheme which is a service available to all Anxiety UK members (in both electronic and hard copy format).
“I was delighted to see the news article on the BBC about toilet phobia. I spent many years choosing my job based around the toilets, missed many outings, social opportunities, and was often totally dehydrated.
Thanks to CBT things are much more manageable now. I didn’t know about your organisation (wish I had). Keep up the good work.”
Angus
My son has had a toilet phobia for the last 6 years. He will be 11 this year and people say the same old thing, “oh he’ll grow out of it”. He has admitted to me that he is so scared to sit on the loo as it makes him sick and then he panics. As a family, the consequence of this has been that we have had to deal with constant soiling. Kids at school call him names and the teachers remove him from lesson when he smells. He has only a few friends and hardly ever goes out. We have tried the NHS, the school nurse and the child psychologist and nothing has worked. We love him so much and just want him to enjoy his childhood and have a normal life. I’m glad I found this site which has enabled me as a mother to share my experience. I wish someone could tell me why I fell like I’ve ‘failed my son’.
Tracey
I suffered from shy bladder for almost 20 years and am finally over it, which feels great. A combination of self hypnosis and target setting worked for me. I built up gradually starting with the ‘least scary’ scenarios, and with each achievement came more confidence. Use your self hypnosis to remind yourself of and to amplify your successes. Never think about the setbacks. They are temporary. Going to the toilet isn’t something I think about anymore, its just natural now. I can’t believe how I let this problem dominate my life for so long. Good luck sufferers – you can cure yourself.
Cured
Thank god I’m not mad. I have suffered in silence for years (over 20) thinking I was the only one in the world going through this. I have never told anyone for fear of ridicule. It started when I was 10 and a friend refused to let me use her loo. I wet myself and still feel sick with the embarrassment to this day. My fear is of being too far away from a loo. It has ruled every part of my life, from shopping to holidays and days out with my family. The thing is when I do get to a loo, my bladder isn’t even full. The panic attacks are crippling but again I suffer them in silence. Knowing I’m not alone is such a relief. I think it’s time to claim my life back.
Anon.
I am a long-term sufferer of toilet phobia.
I have been suffering with the fear of urinating myself for 8 years now, I am 29, due to be 30 at the end of this year and I am determined to somehow beat this irrational fear by then so I can live my life again. My life evolves around wondering where the toilet is, just in case I have to go and then convincing myself I have urinated myself when I haven’t. I cannot remember the last time I went out in public wearing light coloured trousers due to the fear of embarassment, nor can I remember the last time I didn’t walk in to a meeting room and work or round someone’s house and analyse the colour of the chair I will be sitting on to determine if it is light or dark and thus if I urinated there, would it be noticable when I stood up. I go to the toilet about 8+ times per day and I cannot rememember the last time I urinated more than quarter of a pint in one go as I convince myself my bladder is full when it is not and my mind convinces me that if I don’t go I will urinate myself. Another fear I have is smelling of urine. Not only do I worry about the initial patch of wetness on my trousers but then once it has dried, I fear it will smell and everyone will comment. Basically, I think my toilet phobia is a result of social phobia and I am concerned that if I don’t get it treated it will lead to agrophobia, it is already making me very unhappy, never comfortable in work or social situations and the thought of being in a relationship where I might urinate myself in front of them is preventing me from meeting someone which is making me very lonely. I would really like to meet or hear from fellow toilet phobia sufferers. “
Tara
“Hi, I have been reading experiences from people suffering from toilet phobia.
This is just one of the many phobias I have and which I am being treated for, however toilet phobia is the most debilitating of them all as it absolutely rules my life. My problem started seven years ago when after being under constant stress for 13 years looking after my father, I actually lost control of my bowels in the city one night when out with friends. This traumatised me so much and the following week going back into the city I had my first panic attack on the freeway and had to find a toilet as soon as possible. I then started to not want to eat for fear of needing the toilet again. The fear of not making it to the toilet has dominated my life so I can related to a lot of the other people’s experiences here. The toilet phobia has now progressed to me developing agoraphobia and also social phobia. I am on medication and doing Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) which seemed to be working until I had a set back this past week. I have just downloaded the panic programme from this website which gave me a whole new strategy for dealing with the panic attacks. I tried it today and it actually worked so I will keep on implementing this until hopefully I can finally rid myself of this problem of always needing to know where the toilets are. My heart goes out to everyone who has been suffering with this problem. “
Liz
” I have been suffering with anxiety for as long as I can remember, but over the past few years, it has really started to ruin my life.
It started with simple worrying, which triggered agoraphobia, claustrophobia and panic attacks to the point where I start to black out. I also have depression, OC and constant anxiety/tension. Being a 17 year old girl I just want to be able to go out with my friends and do ‘normal things’ but the first thing I think when someone asks me to do something is ‘will there be a toilet?’. I have to go at least three times in the morning otherwise I can’t go out the house and more when I’m worrying. This is so debilitating but I just feel that I need to have control over it. I can barely last a whole day at college and am terrified of having a panic attack, going to the toilet or being sick in front of everyone. I have tried CBT, hypnotherapy, Reiki, counselling, homeopathic treatments, IBS drugs and antidepressants but so far nothing has worked. What should I do? I feel like I have tried absolutely everything in order to get better. I am completely lost and feel so alone.
Katy
“I was amazed to read an article on the BBC website with regards to Toilet Phobia. I thought it was just me.
I prefer to use the facilities at home and will often wait “to go” when I get home. I hate using public toilets in restaurants or bars etc. or even on flights. I never realised it was a phobia – I just try and avoid going away from home. I work away on business – and often wait until I reach my hotel room.”
David
“Please can you highlight the problem that seems to be in every one of our schools and always has been…
Poor toilets and restricted access: Children are often locked out at lunchtimes due to lack of staffing (no legal limit to playground supervision). This means they cannot freely use toilets. They are often told “you should have gone earlier”. I say this sometimes as a parent but I NEVER refuse my children unless we are physically miles away from a loo.
Toilets in our schools are in a bad way (obviously some kids do leave a mess and muck around in toilets, – but only a MINORITY)
LOTS of children I know have wet themselves because the teacher has told them to “wait” when they ask to go – what reason on earth do we have to refuse a 5 year old a trip to the loo? Are they lying?… maybe but… we HAVE to give them the benefit of doubt!
Adults would NOT be treated like this! Why do we treat children worse?
If teachers don’t like them going freely in class and dinner ladies don’t allow free access at lunch, when can children go? If there is a specified time then there will be a long queue.
We can empty our bladders to order but NOT our bowels – don’t teachers appreciate this! When you have to go, you have to go!
School toilets can be smelly, NOT private, broken locks. Kids feel very self-conscious.
Let’s stop this practice in schools and prevent adult phobias, bladder infections and all the rest.
Quote from the site: www.bog-standard.org (from an 8 year old girl): “We are only allowed to go to the toilet at break times. Some children have wet their pants because they were not allowed to go. If we really must go we lose house points”.”
Thank you, Edey.
I am a 30 year old woman and have felt like a little child and alone since I developed this condition. I had a baby and developed IBS. I was out with my son when I had to go to the toilet – I didn’t make it and had a bowel motion right there and then in the park. This has resulted in me not wanting to go anywhere and when I do, I have such bad panic attacks and need to know that if I go anywhere that there is a toilet close by. Finding this website has made me realise that I am not alone.
Paula
I started having panic attacks about a year ago due to not being around a toilet. In fact, it has started to control my life. I’m only 20 and hardly ever go out as I worry about not being able to get to a toilet in time should I need to. I panic about going on holiday and even the car journey to work. I was at one point taking about 12 imodium a day just to get out of the house. I am now down to about 6 but cannot take any less for fear of needing to go to the toilet and worrying about being out of control. I am however starting to notice the side effect of imodium but I am terrified of not having them on my person – I never go out without having at least 2 packs on me. Seeing this site has made me realise that I’m not alone as I always feel so stupid telling people about my problem. I don’t ever tell people the real issue that I have, instead I just say that I have panic attacks.
Eva
“I have a fear of going to the toilet when people are around. It’s not just in public toilets, but in my own house. I’m OK doing ‘number 1′ when people are around, it’s the fear of doing “number 2s” when people are around. It came on when I started having a nervous stomach and IBS symptoms. Constantly having upset stomach made it embarrassing for me to use the toilet when people were around. I also have social phobia, which hasn’t helped with my toilet phobia, because I’m scared of being judged negatively. I can’t remember life before my toilet phobia and when I could use the toilet with people around. My toilet phobia has restricted my life a lot. I can’t go in public toilets, even if I was really desperate. I can’t eat when I go out and I’m scared to go too far away from home incase I urgently need the toilet. I can’t stay at peoples houses and going on holiday is a nightmare. I have to plan a “safe” toilet in advance, and if there isn’t one, I won’t go on holiday. I can’t share a hotel room because it would mean I have to share the toilet. I can’t stay in caravans because the walls are like paper and I can’t stay in tents because I’d have to use public toilets. I have to personally know that no one is going to be around when I go to the toilet, which makes my life awkward. My only “safe” toilet is at home, and even then my family has to sit in the lounge just so I can go upstairs to the toilet. The worst case was when I had upset stomach in the middle of the night and everyone was in bed. I made myself sit up all night holding it in with chronic pain and ended up being sick just because I was too scared to use the toilet when everyone was upstairs. I know how stupid my fear sounds, but I just can’t seem to control it.”
Heidi
“Pardon the pun, but reading these pages on this website has been such a relief. I was coming home from a family day out 25 years ago when I needed the loo, so I jumped off the train and went into the loos at the station. The door jammed, and I couldn’t open it and got into a panic as I heard my next train being announced. Eventually I had to shout for help – I was so ashamed. My family thought it was funny and nicknamed me tiddle-britches and all continued well until 10 years ago when I got stuck in a tunnel while on the tube and my fear was that we would be there for ages and I would need the loo. Now I won’t got anywhere for fear of being stuck – no public transport for me – car journeys are a no go in case we get stuck in a jam. My career has faltered and I’ve lost friends as they got fed up with having to vist me all the time. I recently got married – we had no honeymoon and I constantly worry that my husband will get fed up with no holidays – we can’t even go together to visit his family which is a whole other issue. I’m glad that I’m not on my own though. I’ve had therapy and unfortunately this has been unsuccessful because it centred around agoraphobia and claustrophobia because I was too ashamed to admit the real reason behind my problem. “
Anon
“I just came across this website after my mum showed me a letter in the Daily Mail about a woman with TP – what a relief to be reading this website & not feeling like a complete nutcase anymore! I have fear of being too far from a toilet at all times as my bowels tend to make their own mind up about when they want to empty! My major fear is actually not making it to a toilet in time. I have been very close on a few occasions and hope that day never comes. I suppose that’s where my fear hides itself, in the belief that one day I might just not make it. It doesn’t make for an easy life. I am 30 years old now & for the past 5 or 6 years I have been held back by this awful debilitating phobia in so many ways. I rarely go out, other than to work. I have to plan in advance any routes I need to take that aren’t my usual and any journeys of more than 1 hour are controlled by Imodium (which isn’t cheap!). I have just started driving lessons & explained my problem to the instructor. I am not ashamed to tell people of my phobia, but that doesn’t make it any more easier for me. I haven’t been out for a meal in years. Last time I did I ended up in tears at the table with all the other diners staring at me. Oh and getting a boyfriend is out of the question! Any single TP guys out there? Oh how I wish I didn’t have this phobia. I am not generally a nervous kind of person and was always quite adventurous as a teenager. The thought of going hiking or on an exotic holiday now scares the hell out of me. I do not know what particularly triggered this phobia. My mum thinks it’s from when I used to commute in to London (3hrs a day) & the train would be packed full & getting to the toilet (sometimes out of use) was a nightmare. I think it is a mixture of this and when I went out for a meal with my family and my guts just churned & I had to keep excusing myself to go to the ONE toilet. The embarrassment!! I ended up in tears (again) so my dad drove me home. My family are very understanding and I know I really do need to get over this if I am to do anything with my life. I fear it will be like this forever. My doctor prescribed anti-depressants but it made no difference so I stopped taking those. But I have never spoken with him about TP because I didn’t know it had a name until now. Maybe I can go back to him now & make more sense rather than just an incessant ramble about how awful my life is. “
Jodie
“I am 27 and have suffered for as long as I can remember. I am so scared of the high tank toilets (with chains). This fear has progressed on to also fearing overflow pipes and air vents in toilets. I feel sick, hot and sweaty as if I will pass out. My parents always used to excuse me from going to people’s houses as I would run straight upstairs to inspect the toilet. They had to change a toilet and decorate a bathroom for me when we moved house as I wouldn’t go in them (I was 5 years old at the time). The problem just seems to be getting worse and I now dread the day when toilets like this come back into fashion. I’m also finding it very hard not to pass on this fear to my daughter. “
Rebekah
“Wow, I’m so pleased that I found this site. I’m a 17 year old girl suffering with this condition. I’ve had this problem since I was 16 when I was a cashier and needed the toilet once but was too afraid to ask to go. I ended up having a really bad panic attack and wet myself. This was the most embarrassing thing that I have ever done and even though only two of my colleagues knew about this incident at the time. I dreaded going into work so much so that it makes me want to cry thinking about it. I have also developed emetophobia (fear of being sick) and in a way this phobia has kind of taken over from the toilet phobia. I do however constantly worry about needing to go to the toilet when I am at work. I am seeing a counsellor to help with my problems and although this is a very embarrassing problem, I urge anyone to speak up about this. One practical thing that has happened at work is that I have been able to change sections and can now remove myself from the shop floor whenever I need to. This has helped enormously. My counsellor has taught me techniques to challenge my anxiety which has entailed facing my situation in a positive way. My advice to anyone with this problem is to visit your GP. “
Lisa
“I am so pleased to have found this site. I started suffering with IBS a few years ago, which led to having a constantly upset stomach, causing me to be afraid to go out in case I couldn’t find a toilet if needed. I’d never liked using public loos anyway, but with diarrhoea striking without any warning, I’ve become petrified of not getting to a loo in time. Even if I go somewhere with loos, I hate the idea of being heard. I even panic if people are coming to my house for fear of being heard on the loo. I refuse to use public transport, and panic if I get caught in even a small queue of traffic, for fear of needing to go. I never realised this had a specific name, as I have tried hypnotherapy to no avail, but it was for general anxiety. I am now positive about trying CBT to help me cope, because at the moment it feels like I’m not really living my life, merely existing. “
Kel
“I cannot believe I have found this site after seven years of suffering in silence. I thought I would type into Google ‘toilet phobias’ and the BBC article was the first thing to display. I already feel like such a weight has been lifted. I have at times felt addicted to imodium, and underwent counselling to try and break away from the habit of carrying it. I cancel plans with friends, nights out and nights in, if there is someone else there who I cannot trust with my problem. I have left relationships because I could not bear the thought of needing the toilet when they were around. I am even too scared to rent out a room in my house even though I have got two toilets in case they hear me. I have had two endoscopies, IBS medication, anti-depressants, counselling, and hypnotherapy. Reiki is helping a little, but only really with the panic attacks, which is what I tell people I have, not a fear of the toilet. I too have turned down jobs, invitations out, dinner with friends, even visiting relatives in case I need the loo while I’m there. It doesn’t even matter if there is a toilet there. I’ll then panic about having to use it, and everyone knowing why I’m using it. I hope I can find a spark of hope from this site, and wish the best of luck to everyone else who suffers with this fear.”
Rosalyn
“Hi, I’m male and twenty three years old. When I was eleven I had a water infection and since that day I have been constantly stressed with the feeling of needing to urinate. At school I would skip assembly, I quit football in case i needed to wee during the game. I hated car journeys and before and after every lesson at school I would have to go to the toilet. I cant believe no one ever noticed. Its been the same ever since college and throughout work its been none stop stress, always clenching and worrying about needing to urinate. I never went on holiday, hated shopping or going anywhere that I didn’t know the location of a toilet, but somehow I managed to deal with it through those years. My dad died when I was seventeen and his funeral was difficult to get through but then I started drinking and it felt better as I was meant to need a wee after drinking so much alcohol. I was working at ASDA for about 2 years when I had an especially bad morning and really couldn’t stop the urge to pee and eventually had a panic attack and ran home. I didn’t go back and was signed off for four months with depression as I still found it hard and embarrassing to explain to any doctor. Around this time I also started having symptoms of IBS and still do now. Eventually I got back to work and all was well for another year or so but around two years ago I was driving home from work twelve miles from my house and got the same feeling. It took all my confidence away and I quit work again. I got really low and one night when drunk I decided to try driving to the sea and off a cliff. The police got to me before I reached the sea and arrested me for drink driving. Now I was petrified my worst nightmare. Handcuffed in a car and knowing I’d be stuck in a cell. I was on suicide watch over the weekend and got woken up and carted ten miles to court in a security van. The whole time feeling I was going to wet myself, then locked in a cell with another guy without a toilet. I managed to make it through to my own amazement and got a lift home but Ive never gone back to work and rarely leave the house unless Im drunk. I have a girlfriend who knows nothing about it and it breaks my heart not to be able to go places with her. Counselling hasn’t helped and after the lack of help or support from doctors I’m considering trying hypnotherapy but if that doesn’t work I’m not sure how much longer I can go on living like this. I just wish I was normal and could do normal things without being so stressed and fighting the urge to wee. To this date I have never soiled myself and always managed to get to a toilet or bush in time. I just dont know what to do anymore and I need my confidence back. “
Anon
“I have read lots of people’s experiences written here, and I feel so relieved, that there are so many other people who thought they were the only ones. I just saw a programme that said there are four million people with similar problems. I am really shocked. My phobia extends much further than the toilet, unfortunately. I fear anything with a pipe attached to it. The worst things are toilets, showers and sinks, air conditioning units, drains and electric hand dryers. Anything that you have to expose yourself to makes me feel sick and dizzy to think about. I have been suffering with this for as long as I can remember. One time we even had to abandon a holiday because I couldn’t enter the bathroom. I wet myself up until the age of about 15 because I couldn’t bring myself to go near a toilet. Flying fills me with dread as I’m terrified of airplane toilets. Small spaces with pipes gives me awful claustrophobia. Loud noises like flushing that I haven’t prepared myself for cause me to scream and lose control. I have tried hypnotherapy, but that hasn’t worked for me. I’m not embarrassed about talking about it, so I’m really surprised I haven’t come across someone who has a similar experience. I can’t wait to explore the information on this website as to possible treatments, and try and get this sorted, as I had come to accept it was something I just had to try and live with. Thanks for this website – it’s brilliant. “
Clare
“I won’t go into detail because it would take too long, but coming across this website and in particular the TP articles, I feel like I have just discovered a hidden kingdom or ‘never never land’ – a place where I fit in. I know that this might sound over the top but it is true and actually I have a smile on my face knowing now that I am not alone. From reading the other personal experiences of TP, there were one or two bits in particular that I read and couldn’t believe it because these exact things happen to me also. For example, forever refusing nights out with work colleagues – my wife even. I am only settled in a job if I know that the toilets are clean and private and that I can use them without embarrassment. Long journeys and people coming to my house are a nightmare for me. I am 31 years old and I don’t really know why this problem started. I tried explaining to my wife about my difficulties but it has been hard admitting the true extent of the problem to her. I also feel so guilty that the reason why we don’t go out together is because this problem controls all my life. “
2 embarrassed 2 say
“I am 16 years old and suffer from toilet phobia. I have social phobia and OCD. I can’t go to the bathroom when other people are around. In a public toilet I will wait in the stall until I am positive that the whole bathroom is empty. I can be waiting for 15 or so minutes and I won’t go until everyone has left. I also have to wipe the toilet with toilet paper very thoroughly and then put a bunch of paper on the seat, before I sit down. I have had this for numerous years, and it has gotten worse since. I now have to wipe the toilet seat in my own house. I also can’t use the toilet if someone has just walked out of the stall, this goes for my house too. If my sister just came out of the bathroom, I can’t use that one even if I really have to go. I also can’t use the toilet if the person before me didn’t flush the chain. I flush the toilet but I can’t physically get myself to sit down and go because of the fear that the bacteria from the urine will spread onto me. I have been suffering from this for many years but have only just now been able to put a name to it. My sister laughs at me and thinks I’m exaggerating and am foolish. But she has no idea how it feels to have to go so bad but not be able to. I found out about the name for this problem from a classmate when we did a health project. The kids in my class couldn’t believe there was such a thing and laughed. I was too embarrassed to tell them that I suffer from this issue. I am so glad to know that I’m not the only one with this condition. I am from the USA and have never come across another person with this problem. This website has given me the inforamtion to finally start improving my life. “
Emily
“Wow, I have just discovered this site and reading some of your experiences has made me realise I am not alone. I have IBS but instead of diarrhoea I tend to suffer bad constipation, sometimes not going for three or four days because I physically can’t and when I do it’s usually very small amounts, takes forever and is not satisfying in any way. I get dreadful headaches and stress and as a result I simply cannot relax in the toilet when anyone is around. I usually can go in my own house but I will have to be there long enough to relax and be able to go comfortably and know that no one will come near the bathroom. In fact I have taken to using my mum and dad’s en suite bathroom instead of the main one as it is more private. I’ve even had in depth talks with my boyfriend of a year and a half about this but still if there is a chance he will hear me in the toilet I freeze and nothing will come out. I recently spent three months in America working and had an entire floor of a house to myself and have proved to myself it is psychological and not a real physical problem because I went very easily and comfortably almost every day, except the two weeks my partner was out visiting. Literally the first day he arrived I found myself constipated again. It’s not just him, it can be anyone, a friend, a relative you name it. I dread going away for weekends or holidays because I know I will not be able to poo for days and I will get headaches and feel bloated. This is becoming quite an ordeal and I really wish I could get rid of it. “
Jennifer
I have been going through this toilet phobia for over 2 years, I was bullied in my second year of school and I think this is what caused my toilet problem. I constantly need the toilet, in every lesson at school i feel like i need a wee. I get really anxious, and start pinching myself. It’s horrible, i see a Councillor and she thinks i’m depressed. I’ve thought about committing suicide many times,and once tried to but my mum walked in. I can’t cope with it anymore, i can’t concentrate in lessons and my grades are falling rapidly. Why can’t i just be normal? I don’t know what to do, please help.
Thank you.
scared stiff of using high tank (with chain) toilets. I am absolutely petrified and run out screaming without actually using toilet. Have to hold it. pipes, boilers even cannot stand lid off low level toilets. Have had this since a little girl, we had a high black tank and dad had to paint it white in order to help me. On holiday in Corfu one year awful metal high wc tank in apartment, husband had to cover it with a blanket, it was dreadful as the shower was alongside it!!! Complete and utter horror for me. I am now 59 years and the problem persists.I thought I was alone in this.
im 17 years old and i felt so alone until i found this website ive suffered from this for as long as i can remember now even as a little child. ive never really liked using public toilets anyway but now the thought of using the toilet in public makes my stomach turn and the thought of not making it there in the first place is ten times worse! i avoid going out the house just in case i randomly need to go to the toilet which i do a lot i feel like im missing out on ‘normal’ things girls my age do like going out on night outs with friends parties all of these i cant do cos of my phobia i feel so silly but its something i cant help im having counselling at the minute and hope it will help just a little i dont think i could possibly handle much more
Hi,
CAN ANYONE HELP !!!
My son has just gone 6 years old and in his 1st year at school but will not use the toilet. Teachers have tried all sorts of methods, eg. posters / star charts / stickers etc as a reward if he uses the toilet. This problem has been going on for nearly 3 years. He uses public toilets with me or mom and dosn’t have problems at home. When at school he will refuse drinks so that he can hold himself until home time. If anyone can help or has a child with similar symptoms please please help !
Many Thanks . . . Dave.
Hello,
I am 28 old men and I have paruresis as long as I can remember. I cannot urinate in the presence of other people(what is not so bad, there are always same free toilets or I will simply wait). But the biggest problem is when I am traveling in a train where I simply cannot urinate.. Now I have to travel 5 hour by train, and truly I have great concerns about this. Could you please give an advice?
PS: Sorry for my English – it is not my native language
Mosin
Reading these posts makes me feel much better knowing that there are more people out there like me. This problem started just before I moved to London 6 years ago to chase my dreams.
I am so caught up in my phobia that I don’t even know where to start…
I am rediculously terrified of needing to poo around other people, especially people I don’t know very well. And because I have a sensitive bowel, there are times when I poo, which wouldn’t be so bad, but then it’s that I need to poo again and again after leaving my bowel feeling quite raw…that happens with nerves. I am over the moon when I just have, what I call a “healthy poo” then get on with the rest of my day, but my fear is of the times when you are in there a while and there’s need to go again and again after, wondering where it is all coming from. I think I have IBS too, hense sometimes not going for days and then boom one day loads of times and that is what I fear, not so much just needing a normal poo. What frustrates me most is that I have my dream job – I am a successful fashion and celebrity hairdresser, but every day is a challenge and I just want to enjoy the amazing situations I find myself in and look forward to the actual job without being crippled with anxiety from the second I put the job in my diary. Every day I tell myself this will not hold me back…I will fight through. The awful thing is is that I find myself in scary situations every day and it just wears me out, let me tell you some of my main fears:
I am around people I have just met all of the time, these are the people I am scared to have the shits in front of.
I am often booked to go to a clients hotel room, and spend a few hours getting them ready…or as I see it TRAPPED in their room, with a toilet so personal and close so I think of so many rediculous excuses, should I have a funny tummy and need the toilet bad, to go back down to the reception and use the hotel toilet. The whole time having to act totally normal.
I sometimes travel far, in the UK and internationally, to a location to shoot for a magazine/music video, and there are lots of long journeys with lost of people I don’t know at all/very well…those long car journeys to the location, horrifying.
Some studios I work in are small, with a similar toilet situation to a hotel room, but no other toilet to go to.
I could go on and on and on. Those are just work related situations, because it is those I put all of my effort into getting through because I want this dream and I will fight with my stupid head and bowel to continue to gain success. It’s a constant battle. Does anyone feel like it drains them of their personality?? Leaving you feeling numb and like you’re not really present? That you are a shadow of their former self (can you even remember being that carefree former self)? And behind this calm, vacant mask, is a whole world of crazy turmoil?
As for social situations I just don’t have the strength. I envy when I see on facebook people sitting carefree in beer gardens, and parks, and road trips, and days out in seaside towns…HOW do they do it?? Don’t they poo?? Don’t they get a dodgy bowel ever?? How do they feel if they do?? Housepartys! I can’t think of anything worse…no way.
I do fight it though, “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” I kick its ass, but it is very very hard!! I WILL NOT BE BEATEN. Tonight I am going to the cinema, I am going for drinks…I am going out but don’t think I haven’t worried about it since I agreed to it. I am taking along my trusty friend/enemy Immodium in my back pocket. I stopped actually taking Immodium a few years ago because I would pop them whenever I was doing something, needing a poo or not, and all it does it yes it stops having a poo attack then but over the next few days your bowels fill up and then they’ll just explode on another important day. So I just like to know that I have him in my back pocket.
I could carry on writing a novel about more mental brain mechanics, food, DATING (NO.WAY), restaurants (those fights are one of the hardest)…but for now I’m done. I hope some people reply to my post…..
This just came through on my email and I myself only found this site at the end/beginning of this month and it has made me feel slightly better knowing there are people out there that suffer the same way I do. Unlike you though it IS stopping me from chasing my dreams. I want so bad to be successful in life so that I can provide the best for my boyfriend and our future children but with the constant depression, anxiety and nervousness I experience on a daily basis I fear that my dreams are IMPOSSIBLE. I’m not bothered about being rich, I just want a comfortable lifestyle for my family…is that so wrong? The fact that I have 41 years left until I retire cripples me. I honestly don’t know how I can get through the next year let alone 41 of them. My main fear is like you needing to go for a poo…especially when in a social or work situation. Just incase Incase its not as you would call it a ‘healthy poo’. I often have to go seven times a day…its ridiculous and I don’t eat that much to stop myself from needing to go but still this doesn’t seem to help!!!! I swear I could literally not eat for a week and I would still suffer. I don’t rememvber what it felt like to be the carefree and spontaneous person I use to be, nut I remember that I was carefree and spontaneous at some point in my life. I am beginning counsilling soon for CBT and I just pray that this will work for me. It’s wonderful that I can finally speak out about my phobia with people that genuinelly understand my phobia. Hope you reply to my post.
Take care.xx
hiya i am exactly the same i am 18 years old and have a two year old boy about a year ago i got told i had ibs ever since it has got worse i womtimes will only actually go to toilet three times a day and not need to for hours but no matter what i cant go to shopping centres or park or evan to a shop at the top of my street i panick to death i will poo myself evan if i didnt need a poo soon as im out i feel asif i need to im scared to death ill poo myself because im making myself more nervous its runing my life i cry all the time i want my boy to have the best life ever and i hate him been stuck in i feel like such a bad mother :( will i ever overcome this ??????? has anyone over come it ? i know it sounds sad but i seem like me lifes over thanks for reading x
Just to let you know your not alone…..I often feel like my lifes over. I don’t know what to do anymore. Today has been a particulary bad day. It started because I had to do a training session at work the other day to train up all our xmas staff and because i had the sudden urge to go to the loo and had no option but to leave the room i panicked. Trouble is I have to do ANOTHER session on Sunday and I am absolutely dreading it incase it happens all over again. The only thing that keeps me going is my bf and the fact that I want to help provide us and our future family a good home, but as mellow dramatic as I may sound i do feel like this god dam phobia is slowly killing me. I get these intense urges to do stupid things and I scare the hell out of myself but I see no way out. Just to know there are others out there makes me feel better. I just wish things could get easier, but atleast I know I’m not alone. I hope you manage to overcome your fear, but just remember that no matter how hard it gets to deal with you are never alone even though it probably feels like you are.xx
I certainly genuinely understand about your phobia. But IT is not stopping you from chasing your dreams, YOU are. I just have in my head that I will NOT let it, as much as it tries…sometimes I think what is the worst that can happen really?? I need to go for a poo?
I just want to say, I did go to the cinema the other night AND then for drinks, and I was FIIINE, and I didn’t want to go home. I don’t know about you but I get that sometimes…I do something that I will stress and worry myself sick about until I am going insane, like go for a drink, or for something to eat or the cinema and I DON’T need to go to the toilet, I don’t feel vacant and then I end up not wanting to go home as I love how I’m feeling, I get a buzz when I realise I am being normal! But I just wish I could remember those moments, but no the NEXT time someone asks me to meet up, etc etc my mind freaks, like those good times never happened. It’s mental, it gets no easier. Actually, that night I was with a friend and he had a funny tummy, he said ‘I’ve got IBS’ and he didn’t care, it was like he was saying ‘I’ve got a headache’, I must say this always makes me feel much more at ease when someone says something like this, and people do and they don’t care. IT’S NORMAL. Why can’t I/we get this into our heads. Anyway, the next day, I was driving myself crazy AGAIN from the minute I woke up as a friend had asked me to go to a nice pub for sunday lunch…big deal for me! I worried, might have gone to the toilet a number of times before leaving the house with that fear \what if my bowels don’t calm down and I have to go to the toilet loads of times and cause a scene\, my mind going crazy all the way to meet her, then….calm. We sat outside the pub and enjoyed the whole moment! And we spent the rest of the afternoon together, chatting and being ‘normal’. It’s all so stupid. I always drive myself CRAZY with fear and dread and anxiety and it’s all so rediculous worrying if I will need to poo and then I get into the feared situation and involve myself in it and then all of that anxiety etc etc etc just goes…but the fear of going into the situation and it not going just engulfs me EVERY.TIME leading up to it.
I’d love to hear of situations you or anyone reading find yourselves in, the lead up etc…
your post rings a lot of bells with me ABC! i will anticipate an upcoming event like crazy – ill look up the venue on the net, ill triple check my directions so that i am not left loitering on the street. i have go from A to B as quick as possiible. im that horrible person racing up the tube escalators! haha. anyone, once i am out, and i have sussed out where the loos are, that there’s more than one, and that there’s no queue (say if in a bar) then i will be happy. and ill realise im actually having a great time and hey, i should do this more often?! but yes, another day is another day, and i go through it all over again!
Every morning I wake up I have to try and empty my bowels before going to uni which may lead to me sing the toilet about 12 times a morning. This is very frustrating and I feel angry with myself that I have to do this. Once I’m on the bus I’m ok but have to have a distraction such as music. I also feel sick when I need the toilet and when I need the toilet I feel sick. It’s horrible.
I have had past experiences, back in school I needed the toilet really bad and they made you sign a sheet and then give you a key to open the toilets, which in the end ended up taking to long and outside the toilet door when I was just about to get in I had a bowel movement, I was so embarrassed. Luckily the school had rung my mum before hand and she picked me up. My mum was understanding of my problems and we went to the doctor a few times. My mum sadly passed away from cancer and I felt like I lost the only person that really understood how I was feeling.
I’m currently at university and it’s usually ok because there are a lot of toilets about, I don’t really have the fear of not having a toilet near, I just feel so horrible in the mornings that I don’t want to do anything until I’ve been to the toilet a few times. This leads to me having to get up at least 2 – 3 hours before I have to set off which again makes me frustrated. I can drive easily any time of day, don’t have fear of using the motorway because I know that I’ll be ok. The only problem I really have is doing anything in the morning and that makes me fear what life’s going to be like when I have a job and I shouldn’t have this problem.
I’m 21 and I’m fit, do weight lifting 5 times a week, have a pretty strict diet plan and eat at least 4 meals a day. I also use a weight gain shake which I have put some of the blame on using the toilet but once I stop taking it for a few days I still feel the same. I recently went on holiday with my girlfriend and felt horrible that I was wasting the mornings of our holiday by sitting on the toilet. She knows about my problems and is very supportive but sometimes I give her a lift to work and I have to come in with her to use the toilets in the area because its so early that I haven’t been to the toilets enough times. Sometimes I just feel worthless and wish I could be normal.
Thanks to everyone that has posted advice on here, good luck to everyone.
It’s really interesting hearing how other people’s minds tick but all centered around the same fears.
I’m the opposite to you where I fear using the toilet first thing in the morning as I’m worried “once I pop I just can’t stop”. So I fear anything that involves mornings…and my work often has a lot of early starts, and God forbid a long drive to the job in hand. So I get up at the latest time possible where I have no time to do anything other than wash or dress and I fear eating anything/breakfast incase it makes me need to go. Once I am working and comfortable and have located the toilet only then will I eat/smoke or do anything that might make me need to go. I love it when I have a day off, with no plans, no company then I will get up eat, smoke, and not worry! I love those days.
What’s interesting is how you mind can actually make you feel like you have that diarrhea feeling, then as soon as you stop being scared it goes, for example…I hate the thought of being in situations where I feel trapped/unable to use the toilet without causing a commotion (because that’s how I see it but in reality is it any different than saying “sorry I need a wee…back in a minute” because that wouldn’t bother me at all) like being in the dentists chair/interview/getting a tattoo…I was going to get a tattoo, I was nervous but I wanted to go in and chat to the guy, as I was chatting I felt so strongly that I needed to poo, so I made out I was just enquiring and would come back the next day where in actual fact I was wanting to get it there and then. Anyway, I left, got in the car and immediately I felt calm and did NOT need the toilet at all. TOTALLY IN THE HEAD! Anyway, I bit the bullet, went back the next day and somehow managed to get the tattoo. It was only a small one cos I have no idea how people dare put themselves into a situation getting a big tattoo that takes hours and hours and hours, I also wonder how the tattooist dare be a tattooist knowing he has to sit there for hours a day, he can poo and thats fine but what if he has the dreaded dodgy tummy.
Anyway, sorry to waffle…it’s good to get it out.
I am in Australia & have had the toilet phobia for as long as I can remember I’m 44. I put it down to my mum who had ocd & made such a big fuss when we were out & about going to public toilets don’t touch them etc & I think that impacted on me being able to go. I do not blame her for this because I know she would not have wanted this for me. I can’t even use friends toilets if they are close by. I have gone at least 24 hours without going when we went overseas, but I soon learnt when the bus pulled up instead of the toilet I would go into the bush, at least some relief for me. Since I have had 4 kids I had to have a private room for all births & even when pregnant I could go all day without going it has been harrowing for me but I have learnt to live with this. When I had my daughter I worried about her going but I did not want to pass on to her what was passed on to me so I have now learnt to go to the disabled toilets as they have a room on their own, only of late I have noticed that now the disabled toilet in some places has been incorporated in the ladies public toilet & I have been unable to go. I know that it is a natural thing & everybody goes & I don’t care about listening to anyone elses urine tinkling I just don’t want anyone listening to mine or the pressure of someone waiting to go when I am in there. I hope one day to overcome this.
Hello I’m a mother of a four year old boy. when my son was in kindergarden 1 he never made use of the toilet a school. his teacher used to take him three times during the day with the others one after the other. when it’s his turn to pee he doesn’t do so. he leaves the bathroom and return to his class on his own. he used to pee underpants and even he also had bowel movemnts, so I had to go and change his clothes. when i used to ask him why he wasn’t using toilet he used to reply that alot of children make use of the same toilet or else he tells me there are stones inside it. this thing was making me frustrated and he did so till the end of the year.
Now he started kindergarden 2 and again the same problem. apart from that he yells and cries not to go at school every consequtive morning. he even did so last year.
kindly advise.
thanks alot in advance
regards
benardette from Malta
Everytime I need to go out of home, I feel extreme urge to go for passing stool. Its a must that I go to latrine. I pass on stool with lot of farts.
I am anxious that this may appear on road also.
It is increasing day by day.
Please help me with suggestion of medicine/name of doctor and change of lifestyle also.
wow, i thought i was the only one!
im scared of having to got to the toilet but there will be none around.
like at home im fine but on long car trips i get scared and start thinking about having to pee and BAM! I have to pee! I pee like 100 times before we leave the house just in case and people get so annoyed. it used to be really bad like if i heard a toilet flush i would have to pee again.
but now it is just long trips. actually i have to ‘go’ on long trips and i am forced to hold it in when i get home the feeling of having to pee disappears! its because i know their is a toilet nearby and if i have to pee it will be a couple of steps away! it is so annoying.
i will try to set myself goals, like go in a place without toilets nearby and try to hold it, even though i feel uncomfortable.
its really embarrasing though. im only 14 and my family get annoyed if i say i have to pee before a long trip they’re like, “Do you just hold it in so we are late! C’mon you peed about 5 minutes ago” This makes me really embarrased and sad.
My friend is kind of like me but she has a fear or public toilets She told me that one time overseas she didn’t want to use the public toilets and she had to hold it in for 2 days and she actually passed out. scary!
Hi Buzz
Has she tried talking therapy in the past to help with the anxiety? Avoiding public toilets will only reforce the irrational thoughts and negative thinking which in turns worsen the anxiety and phobia. I would recommend CBT for her if she wants to manage the anxiety.
Andy
HEy i myself think i have a problem, i been living my whole life with a secret that only close family know.Some, think i overcame it but i still have problems with it.when i was born i had a problem with the milk they gave me.my body regected it and i had constapation.i stayed at the hospital right after i was born , i didnt leave it until 2 weeks .i thought that had been my problem why i couldnt go to the restroom but then i realized it wasnt that i couldn’t or didn’t have a fast enough matabolism , but the fear of some one watching me or listening ,and even thinking its it going to hurt.what can i do to over come that fear???
I knew I had IBS but I didn’t know until I found this page that I suffer from TP.
My phobia is thinking that I haven’t emptied my bowels and the places that I’m going to don’t have a clean toilet. This phobia makes me to go the toilet before I go anywhere. The horrible thought of a 45 minute bus journey to college every morning results in me sitting on the toilet for 40 minutes trying to empty my bowels which 70% of the time it does. The other 30% results in near misses or bad accidents which don’t help my confidence. I have often had to get off the bus to walk home to use the toilet. The annoying thing is, is that I don’t end up needing the loo when I get home. This means I am late most of the time and I hate making up excuses to the tutors. Like most of you have said above, I hate long journeys unless I’m in control of the journey where I can pull over or go to services etc. This has also affected my social life as I tend to avoid going out to clubs as they have poor toilet cleanliness and I don’t want to be ridiculed by other people for going. My girlfriend knows about this and is supportive but I hate letting her down and my friends for not going out often with them. I do however, still go out on occasions and have a good time as I calm myself down by thinking “You have been to the toilet already. You don’t need to go”. This has stopped me from going out more than I want to and I find that immodium is very helpful for my confidence.
I have had this condition since I was about 8 when the teacher wouldn’t let me go to the toilet for a #2. I obviously missed it and had to clean myself up and surprisingly got away with the embarrassment.
I have had no treatment for this and my GP just tells to change my diet but I think this is more psychological. I will be looking into CBT as mentioned by other people.
I have a phobia of flushing the toilet. I live with three boys and have recently noticed I am leaving very large faeces in the bowl. As you can imagine this is highly embarrassing. My problem is I cannot flush them as I am scared it will overflow and flood the house. I regularly blame it on the boys I live with, but I have no doubt my faeces are larger and less flushable than that of an average 24 year old girl. I have now done it on three occasions this autumn, once when they were all on holiday. I was red faced when I heard them sniggering behind my back about the enormous “poo” I had left sitting in the communal bowl. I can now no longer flush at work, at home or in nightclubs. I amvery scared a potential lover might find out and leave me. What can I do? Do you have any tips on flushing them first time?
Hi Ellen, toilet phobia is a really common condition and many people report having similar problems and feeling embarrassed about using the toilet or of flushing. It does sound like your phobia of flushing the loo is starting to disrupt your day to day life and creating lots of anxiety for you. You might find it useful to talk to somebody about this or look into getting some help to deal with your anxiety. You can always give us a call on our helpline and chat to a vounteer, we can also help you if you wanted to access some therapy to help you move forward on this.
regards, Chris
Urm. Hi. I have been recently afraid that I will need to go to the toilet at school or in an exam, I force myself to go at least twice every morning before I leave for school and then panic when I’m there about if I will need to go and whether or not someone will be listening. It’s starting to make me I’ll now by holding it in and I’m getting pretty sick of it. It’s so good to know I’m not alone. I can’t go out with friends much anymore because I do panic about needing the toilet….I just want to be a normal 14 year old. :( Xx.
Hi Nat
I understand that you must have been experiencing a difficult time. Have you talked to your parents about your anxious feelings? It is better not to bottle up your feelings as this will only make you feel more stressful.
Best wishes
Volunteer
Hi
I just turned 15 and I’m sure I have agrophobia and social phobia :( I can’t go out unless I feel “empty”. If I’m rushing around in the morning and don’t have time to go, I feel horrible! My hands start to sweat and shake, I feel as if I can’t breathe? Like I have to breathe really deeply and slowly. I don’t pay attention to anybody, and I’m just not myself! I don’t laugh or smile or talk, I just sit there fidgeting :( its so embarrassing! But I’m glad that I’m not alone :D i couldn’t even enjoy Christmas! I went to my aunts house, and I couldn’t enjoy the dinner as I felt as if I needed to go “number 2′s”. I can’t go In front of anyone, only my mum, dad, and sister. Never anyone else. Even my best friends! I think it started out when I was….. About 10? I was round my friends house and we took a walk, we got an ice-pole and then a few minutes after that I felt soooooo Ill! I had to beg to her to go back to her house, it was really embarrassing…. I think it was a panic attack? Or anxiety things cuz I was desperate! I was telling her to hurry up just so I could get to the toilet :( and when we did get to her house, I bolted up the stairs but it just started coming out! (I can’t believe I’m telling you this >_> ) so I ran to the toilet, there was no lock on the door and it wouldn’t shut properly but I just ignored it and went. But I felt as if she followed me up the stairs and stood outside! It was the most horrible experience ever! I felt as if I smelt after and was so uncomfortable :( I called my dad to pick me up, I felt bad, but I had to go home….
I think that started it off for me, I realise that this is getting really long, so Ill end it here. I haven’t told you everything yet haha, but oh well….
I should tell my parents really, but I’m embarrassed :(
Honestly, I can’t tell them. I’m just so embarrassed… X
I’ve had a bad case for almost my entire life but since I got gastrointestinitic two years ago, it has become much worse. I mean I haven’t even left the state of Michigan in these past two years. It’s a shame, not being able to go on long trips any more. My parents always thought that I was a delutional freak, bu t I’m glad to know I’m not.
Hey guys im 15 and my TP started when i was 9 from having a bad memory in an assembly i was ill that day and embarrased myself infront of everyone so ever since then i couldnt go in assemblys so my mum( who was very supportive) called a councilour who was absolute s*** if i was honest he didnt help and made it worse by telling me to just go its all in my head blah blah. And the next bad attack was a car journey so i cant go in cars without the constant worry i need the toilet Number 2 in particular, then the same thing happened on the bus thought id have to go to the toilet then in classrooms so everyday my day was nothing but stress and eventually i had to quit football my passion all because of TP, im a very competitive guy so i thought that im going to get over this and will. So im currently seeing help with cbt and its been amazing my anxiety has dropped from a ten out of ten to a 6 in around 8 weeks off help getting over TP takes a while and often comes back( id been prescribed beta blockers but never took them) to me but ive got my techniques of distracting myself which is really working 7/11 breathing and imagining that this anxiety was a annoying little person whos trying to make me leave and go to the toilet when i dont need to go which really helps me stay in the room or whatever situation i find myself anxious in, another one of my fears is embarrasment people taking the mick for me going to the toilet i was often bullied about my uncontrollable bowell but i found ways off laughing it off with them they give up when you dont give them a reaction!, So i help my story can help everyone out there who suffers from TP it will get better guys you just have to believe it will
Ryan
Hi all, I am 32 and have suffered sinjce i was about 12.I have had CBT during my two worst phases which helps immensely- but does take time and ive found in each case that i start to improve after a year or so of being quite badly limited in what i can do. Between these times i am always still cautious – i would never for example go to a festival where there are queues for portaloos! In general, I think the problem is worse when you are stressed about other things in your life – my CBT guy said to think of it like a pressure valve – when you realise you are being more neurotic than usual its time to assess life a bit and see if you are not on the right track/working too hard/ actually concerned about being a bad relationship etc. and that has been spot on for me. learning to be more assertive and build on self confidence has been hugely helpful. that leads you to think more positively, which stops you worrying about ‘what if’ (or better still, allows you to think ‘if i have an accident its not the end of the world, people will still like me’. challenge yourself daily to push it that little bit further, and do something different that makes you a teensy bit uncomfortable. you slowly broaden the circle in which you live. I think it is hugely helpful to see everyones stories. but do be careful of poring over each others experiences of the one time that they didnt quite make it! By our nature us sufferers have a tendency to remember things that one time we heard of that happened to someone else and we use use it as evidence to ourselves when we are haivng these fears and thoughts. I can honestly say that in the many hundreds of panci attacks i must have had in my life, where i feel the contents of my bowel instantly drop down inside me, and i feel the absolutely urgent need to get to a loo within about 2 nano seconds, i have in fact ALWAYS made it to a loo. and in fact when i have got out of the situation (eg the tube or crowded place or traffic jam) the need to go passes even if i havent found a loo! your mind is a clever thing and you need to try to blindly tell yourself 1. in all probability my body will hold this until im ready to go; and 2. even if i have an accident (which is very rare), the outcome in terms of reaction of those around me is probably not nearly as bad as my imagination thinks. For most people the times when they have accidents are because they are ill rather than becasue of the panci attack itself. we are all only human and it happens. Dont put so much pressure on yourself!
Aftere reading all these stories i am inspired to clear out the hanbag and get rid of some of my ‘safety tricks’ – a purse full of 20p coins and a pocket pack of tissues.
Good luck all!
im 13 and i have had this phobia since i was 8 i think when i got a urine infection and every time i went swimming i needed to pee after, don’t know why. but ever since i have been so scared of long journeys! i have let down so many good opportunities and trips in school, but now i have signed up to one in France for 5 days, hopefully this will make me overcome my problem ! so glad other people have this problem to!
I still can’t believe that so many people have this problem. I’m 20 years old and my story begins 3 years ago. It was morning and I pooed my pants ( sorry for expression ) one minute away from my apartment ( just because of one glass of cold juice night before … ). Please don’t ask for other details.After that event my problems with TP begins. Suddenly I start to feel worried about going out; because in my head I always made some worst case scenario in which I could not go to bathroom or I pooed my pants ( again ).
In these 3 years this phobia start to control my life. I have major problem when I must go to college in the morning, because than i don’t have time to do “eat+defecation”. Now in my life “eat+defecation” is something like unwritten rule. I don’t go out if I didn’t do that “ritual”, and when it’s done I don’t eat until I get home. I adore days when I don’t have to go to college or do some duty. I don’t talk about my problems with anyone so my friends think that I’m staying home just because I’m some sort of a geek who like to watch movies/read books/comics all day. Yeah, i like to do that but sometimes I stay at home just because of fear. I hate that, I feel like my home is a prison and anxiety is my master. :/
Only good part of all of this is that I now it is in my head. When is good gig or festival in some other country I go on road trip with any problem. Only huge things like that can make me to forget about my phobia. ( Also hanging out with girlfriend; some funny activities with mates etc. ).
This is the first time that i wrote something about this. Only my parents now about my situations so it’s very hard to handle it.
I would like to thanks to others because of their sharing of stories.. At least I know that I’m not alone. :)