What is it?
This disorder has also been nicknamed ‘Imagined Ugliness Syndrome’ as sufferers of the condition have an irrational preoccupation with a perceived body defect, either present in themselves or in others; the latter being dysmorphophobia by proxy.
BDD sufferers cannot accept that their fears of their perceived body defect are out of all proportion, and frequently seek plastic surgery/other measures in an attempt to rectify the perceived problem.
DIY self diagnosis
If you can answer YES to most of the questions it is likely that you are affected by BDD.
Over the past 6 months:
- Have you felt disgusted by a particular aspect of your body?
- Did you feel that a part of your body is abnormal?
- Did you spend a lot of time examining/scrutinising your appearance?
- Did you avoid looking at yourself in mirrors, windows etc.?
- Did you feel that other people are looking at your appearance or are disgusted by it?
Anxiety UK strongly advises that people seek further information and guidance from their GP who will be able to make a formal diagnosis.
How we can help
Anxiety UK is a user-led charity with more than forty years experience in supporting those living with anxiety. By becoming a member of Anxiety UK, you will have access to a range of benefits, including:
- Access to reduced cost therapy within two weeks of submitting your therapy request
- Access to our helpline (available Monday-Friday, 9:30 am – 5:30 pm) staffed by volunteers with personal experience of anxiety
- Receipt of four issues of Anxious Times, our quarterly members” magazine
- Access to the members only section of our website, featuring regular support surgeries facilitated by anxiety experts
- Access to specialist helplines, including the psychiatric pharmacy helpline and the psychology information helpline
And many, many other benefits that will help you manage your anxiety long term. To become a member of Anxiety UK click here or ring 08444 775 774 today.
Want to know more?
Overcoming Body Image Problems is a self help book based on cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). You can purchase it online in the Anxiety UK shop by clicking here.
Anxiety UK publishes a fact sheet and audio tapes dealing with BDD available to purchase by clicking here.
Recommended web sites
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Personal experience
Do you suffer from BDD and want to share your experience with other people? Post your personal experience in the comments box below where it will be sent to our moderator for approval. Many people find this part of the site very useful when trying to understand their disorder so your comments really do make a difference. Please note, all comments submitted to the Anxiety UK website may be used by Anxiety UK for (but not limited to) publicity and promotional material.
As far as I can remember I have always been conscious of my blemishes and scars; hiding my face behind makeup and shunning away from bright lighting.
I never let anyone see me without makeup because I feel naked without it. I feel that I am ugly and people will judge me. I have always heard comments that people find me pretty, but they see me behind the ‘mask’. This obsession rules my life. I can’t be seen without makeup; I can’t go underwater when I swim. My fear would be to have to remove my makeup in public. If I am having a very bad blemish day, sometimes it will prevent me from going out, especially in daylight. I feel stupid and I know to family and friends it sounds absurd, but they just don’t understand me. I feel alone in the way I’m feeling, but I’m sure other people are suffering to. I always believe if I could get rid of this problem my life would be so much happier and easier. It is my plight. I am even thinking of laser surgery, but am too scared to show my face to the surgeon and I am also worried about having to leave the hospital with no makeup. I’m lost.
Lara
It makes me so sad to read all of these life stories. I don’t have BDD but I have been on the receiving end of the by-proxy situation where an ex of mine focused most of his irrational thinking on me and what he deemed to be a physical flaw. It completely consumed him and until I found out what was really going on I thought he was either having an affair or was dying and didn’t know how to tell me.
I was actually relieved when he told me the truth! believe me this relief didn’t last for long. It was really hard for both of us but luckily I have enough confidence in my appearance to not let it make me too paranoid. He felt awful to be inflicting this on me and told me frequently he knew I was beautiful really but couldn’t help his irrational thoughts. I was as understanding as I could be, after all he had spent years helping me deal with mental illness (I suffer with chronic anxiety which I know you are all thinking if only we had something so easy to deal with!) this helped me to understand the irrationality of it all but it wasn’t enough to save our relationship and I hate to admit I gave up on my soulmate and left him. Years of dealing with this had dented my confidence and after starting anti-depressants myself for my anxiety I finally started to go out and enjoy life and felt I could do no more to help him and had to get on with my own life.
Believe me I still feel guilty about deserting him but there is only so much a person can take. The moral of my story is that if only he had got onto some medication and really tried to deal with it I would have known he was really determined to sort himself out and try to save our very long relationship. He tried anti-depressants for a bit but stopped them as soon as he felt a bit better – I know through experience that it doesn’t work like that but he wouldn’t listen.
We are still friends and although his BDD subsided for a while it has come back with a vengance now and he is finally going down the correct route of medication and councelling so hopefully he won’t lose another relationship. I will always love him to bits which is why I am always there for him and I am the one person he can talk to as I’ve been there with him. I know he will improve as will everyone else reading this as long as you try everything possible (I’ve had medication, councelling, seen a psychiatrist, hypnotherapist, been to self help group and can now deal with my anxiety. Medication has been the most helpful, making the fog lift and helping me see the wood from the trees. I, like you will never be ‘cured’ but I’m not on tablets at the moment and haven’t been for years but if things get bad I know I can get some more ‘happy pills’ and that is good to know, there are some things you just can’t fight without help.
Hi Amelia
Sorry to hear about your story. I want you to knowthat you and your ex are alone fighting against anxiety as here in Anxiety UK we receive many phone calls and emails from people, who also suffered from similar anxiety problems, each day. The majority of people who seeks professional supports do generally get much better. Managing anxiety is a long and difficult process, however you should always have faith in your GPs / therapists and also yourself, believing you have the ability to manage the anxiety. Get well soon. Remember, you can always call us on our helpline to speak to one of our helpline volunteers.
Andy
hello there.
I dontt know if I am really suffering from BDD,but the symtomps that I have are more or less the same.
Here’s my story. Ever since childhood I was skinny and ugly.My sis on the other hand was very pretty.My family, expect my mom ,always kept picking on my nose.Saying that it was the worse in the family.I have a small nose.Later in my teens i looked alirght, but the fear that I am not pretty enough always struck me.I wouls run away from camera.Hardly few appreciated my looks.I have a great body,right curves,but my face is small.i resemble halle berry expect for my nose.Its more or less the same but i have a devaited septum and bad drak circles long with tear trough.Now as I am aging ,my skin is getting thin revealing my bone structure.This is annoying me.I can see my flaws.No one else can but it bothers me.I had a man in my life who said there is nothing specail about my face. These words kill me everyday.I spend like for hours together in front of the mirror thinking whats wrong.I do have deviated septm but thats not seen to normal eyes and my nose looks ok.I have no breating problems either.Had been to plastic surgeon twice and they turned me away saying I have a good face and nothing is required.They suggested me for fillers under eyes and nose area, and that too he said you can do it if you are too desparate.Doctor said in his opinion,its not required.But i cant get over it.all tell me that i look good but i feel all are lying.they dont want to understand me.My friends and family have given up on me now.I am all alone dealing with this problem.I have lost my jobs, relations, my peace of mind but still not able to get over it.I feel i am yet to meet a good plastic surgeon who will understand me.its been 3 yrs that i am suffering.Having been collecting money for plastic surgery.A part of me a so desparate to have it done and a part of me says NO, what is things go worse? I am in such a miserable state.thost words\there is nothing specail about our face\ ;just not able to get over it.Cant there be some solution to my problem?
can anyone suggest.
Many thanks
Hi Juisha, you definitely sound like you have body dysmorphic because its a form of ocd, and all ocd is obsession based and the way you have describe your situation, it sounds like thinking about your appearance is all consuming like an obsession. I have had bdd since I was about 11, and im 23 now and have only recently been diagnosed, please go and see a doctor about this as they can give you medication for bdd called Citalopram and therapy. Also look at the MIND website as they have group therapy sessions avalible. I was just wondering if you have been experiencing any anxiety?. I hope this helps, Zoe x
I am 33 years old and have suffered since a child with anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts, most of which relates to my stomach, thighs and bottom. I have always believed that i have an abnormal and unusual body shape. I have never worn jeans (As they seem to be modelled on people with normal shaped legs) and basically spend my life wearing leggings and big baggy jumpers or long tunic tops that will hide my body. I obsessively look at my body in every reflective surface that comes into my pathway. My thighs can make me sick to my stomach when i see myself sometimes. I go through phases of not being able to undress in front of a mirror as i know that if I see my body it will send me into a huge panic. Some days i can look and examine my body. This often depends on how much I’ve excercised and how controlled i’ve been with my food intake. I am a size 12 by the way, but the scary thing is that i can be sitting next to my friend who is a size 16 and i am absolutely convinced that my legs are double the size of hers. On a logical level i know this is untrue, but its like my brain makes me think otherwise.
I have always been diagnosed as Borderline anorexic as I have been known to extremely lower my food intake or to binge, but the more I read about BDD, the more it seems to me that this is what i’ve been suffering with my whole life.
I had to have an operation, which meant that i couldn’t excercise over the summer. Currently i have isolated myself from everyone who cares about me as i feel that they are all judging me and my body. I feel like people in the street are judging me and i haven’t gone back to work yet (I teach) since the end of the summer holidays as i cant bear the thought of everyone staring at my body and thinking how awful i look. I have even had to leave the gym i’ve been a member of as i cant go there anymore because i feel that they will all look at me and how huge my legs and my body have become over the summer. I’m becoming more and more of a hermit because of these thoughts and it’s scaring me.
I know i need help – Ive been on anti-depressants in the past for anxiety and panic attacks and general dark thoughts. I dont know where to begin. Are there support groups or inexpensive services available as i have very little funds? Also my parents really dont get it at all and i was wondering if anyone knew of any websites with info for families of people suffering with BDD that i could give them to read?
I feel huge sympathy for everyone out there who is like me and wish you all well in your onward journeys with fighting this horrendous disabling illness!!
Carly
Hi Carly, you definitely sound like you have body dysmorphic because its a form of ocd, and all ocd is obsession based and the way you have describe your situation, it sounds like thinking about your appearance is all consuming like an obsession. I have had bdd since I was about 11, and im 23 now and have only recently been diagnosed, please go and see a doctor about this as they can give you medication for bdd called Citalopram and therapy. Also look at the MIND website as they have group therapy sessions avalible. I was just wondering if you have been experiencing any anxiety?. They have support groups on here and they are often free or a small fee
http://www.ocduk.org/bdd
http://www.mind.org.uk/
I hope this helps and I really hope you get better,as I know how you feel and its not
nice for anyone to go through. Zoe x
Hi Zoe,
thank you so so much for your reply.To answer your question on anxiety, I don’t really suffer from it, but I am fed up with myself thinking abt my looks;like 6-7 hrs a day.And if i am dead busy i get restlessas i can’t thin kabout my looks.I have to go check the mirror every now and then.I cant stop watching my pics though i know i am not photogenic.I face these weird probs due to which i am unable to concentrate onwork/ important things in life.
However, as you said I shall approach a doctor.Hope he helps me out.Thanks again for taking out time and replying.
since i was 18 i have been obsessed with my eyes and eyebrows, i belive that they are too low down and i feel cross eyed and generally ugly at all times. im so glad to know im not the only one. i feel generally unwell when i attempt to go outside and have been unemployed for 7 months due to this illness (im now 22) i pick my skin on my face and if i try to go outside i sweat shake and darent look at anything apart from the floor. i also avoid mirrors at all costs and have lost all my friends and girlfriend because of this nasty anxiety. i thought i was the only one and typed in anxiety disorders on google. i now have been diagnosed with BDD. i hope i get through this and all of you do because as you well know it ruins your life. its so nice to have a bit of support
thankyou
matt
basically when i was 18 my mum died then my dad 3 months later. after that i started been quite self concious. over the past 4 years it has gone ridiculous, its got to the point now where i quit my job because i cant bear people to look at me, ive been unemployed for 8 months because i darent get a job and its getting to the point where i cant leave the house because i start shaking and sweating and feeling generally unwell. i avoid social situations at all costs and im starting to get into debt. i also avoid mirrors i.e never ever look in them. i think i may have BDD and social agrophobia.
Hi Matt
One thing i’ve realised is that isolation feeds BDD and you think too much. I’m so sorry to hear about your mother and then father, that’s such a loss in such short time and hard for someone of your age. Do go and seek help as YOUR WORTH IT and do it now PLEASE while you are young so that BDD doesn’t get any more of a hold on you. xx ps thats a gorgeous face i can see
Hi Zoe,
Thank you so much for your reply! I have been put onto Citalopram 40mg by my doctor and will be starting some therapy in the next couple of weeks. Starting to feel a bit better every day and have even been venturing out of the house a bit here and there with my mum. The links you put in your message were really helpful, so thank you for that also. I do suffer with bad anxiety, but the pills seem to be really calming me and my rambling brain. I still have the same thoughts about my body and people looking at me/judging me, but the anxiety is less intense now. Thanks again Zoe!! xxx
Hey Carly ahh I am sooo happy that you are getting help thats fantastic, I really hope things work out for you!, oo I was just wondering do you have ocd as well? as I know alot of people normally have both. Thanks, Zoe xx
Hi Matt,
I’m so sorry to hear about what you’ve had to go through in your life and about what you’re going through now… It will get better with the appropriate help and support I promise. I’m sending you and every one else suffering a huge hug. It’s great to have like minded people to talk to.
Carly xxx
Hey Zoe,
I do have slight OCD, but nothing too bad and these pills seem to be really calming that down as well. I don’t feel the urge to have to do stuff and stand in front of the mirror checking parts of my body all the time. Still finding it a big challenge to go out of the house and socialize and do normal stuff. How are you getting on? Carly. xx
Hey Carly Thats great that some things are improving!. How have u been feeling lately?, anymore improvement?. Maybe you could go to a bdd support group and meet people who feel the same?.
I am ok thx, I been put on some new meds and they have calmed down my anxiety alot and I am started a new support group next week, so hopefully that will help. xx
Im 18 years old and i hate my body. i hate the way i look. i always have to put make up on, i cant go out without it im too scared people will see me someday without it because im too ugly! i feel people are disgusted with how i look. everyone always tells me im super skinny and i feel like everytime somebody sees me they feel sorry for me and disgusted. ive never told anyone about the way i feel because i know they will think im stupid and a freak. there was days at school where i would hide in the restrooms and stay there the whole day until it was time to go because i didnt want anyone too see how ugly i am. everytime people look at me i feel theyre being disgusted by the way i look and that they feel bad for me. the reason people talk to me is because they think im pretty but theyre only seeeing me under a mask. i know that if they would see my real face and my real body they would run away from me! i have to put pants under my jeans to look fatter and stuff under my bra so i wont look flat! i also wear alot of makeup to hide my ugliness! nobody likes skinny ugly tan girls. all my life ive been made fun of when i wouldnt wear makeup and i wouldnt use many clothes to look fatter. they would bully me so much i never wanted to go to school! now that i wear too much makeup and put clothes under my other clothes people say im pretty and talk to me. but im all fake. i hate my body and i hate myself for being this way. i wear up to 5 pants under my jeans! thats how bad it is that i feel. and i have to stand with the heat because i dont have any other option. i always cry and wish my body could change but its not. no matter how much i eat or any thinkg i do, i still remain the same.
Hey, Jessie I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. I know exactly how u feel I never leave the house without make up and even in my own house i will put a face mask on without it so even family can not see my bare face.
I know its easier said than donebut try not to think about the bullys, i bet they were jealous of u!.
You should look on these websites:
http://www.mind.org.uk/
http://www.ocduk.org/
Also please try and go to the doctors as they do medications for bdd, I couldnt take it as I am allergic.
I hope you feel better soon hun, good luck with everything. Take care, Zoe x
Hi Jessie
Try and find hobbies and interests to detract you from thinking all the time about how you look and take your mind off things.
xx
I’ve not been diagnosed with BDD nor have I ever been to a shrink but I know for a fact that I have some sort of BDD. I have just turned 15, so I’m not quite old, but I think my BDD started when I was about 13. I was never a beautiful child when i was younger. I wasn’t UGLY but I wasn’t very pretty either. Just plain I guess. But back then, before I got BDD, I didn’t even really notice I was plain or even CARED at all! Whenever I looked in the mirror I didn’t think I was very pretty or very ugly, I was just me. I can even remember a bit of how I used to think before I had BDD. My only problem was how i wished I could wear shorts and super skinny jeans because my parents wouldn’t let me wear them. Back then, I used to think almost every girl I saw was pretty. I didn’t care about my weight (even though I was quite slim) and I was just normal and happy. I have never been made fun of before about my appearance or anything else I can think of. I was just a regular kid.
But after I started homeschooling (long story, but I guess you can say its due to religious reasons) I started caring more about my appearance. At first it was makeup. I had never ever used makeup untill I was about 13. I actually felt embarrassed and self conscious with it on! :) I used to also be embarrassed to put my hair down (I always wore a ponytail). My parents didn’t want me to wear makeup outside due to religious reasons n stuff, but I apparently told them I would only wear it inside the house (of course, now I can’t even step outside my house without it on).
The next part was when I wanted to get highlights and made my mom buy a “at home kit”. I told her I was going to dye only a few strands but ended up using the whole bottle on the top of my head. I had platinum blonde hair on the top and brown hair on the bottom.:) It looked horrible but I liked it. After that, I’ve dyed my hair about 6 to 7 times (semi and demi dyes included).
Since I was homeschooled, I usually didn’t hang out with friends that often. Just on the weekends and the occasional family visiting.
But during these past 2 years or so, I grew taller and my face shape changed dramatically. I started taking care of my appearance and started wearing makeup etc. I changed almost completely! My old friends and relatives didn’t even notice me on the streets untill I told them it was me (they still had a hard time believing me). But after a while, my “obsession” and hate with my appearance grew even more. People started telling me how “beautful” and “pretty” I had become! I never believed them though. Random people on the streets told me I had beautiful skin and even 3 or 4 people said I was the prettiest girl they’ve seen. but i KNOW they are lying. I know they say that due to politeness. The only reason they think that is because i wear makeup. Whenever someone says that i look pretty, i feel happy for a few minutes, but then it feels like a slap to the face since i dont deserve to be called that. they say that because i have makeup. it just makes me more paranoid of ever being seen without makeup because i have to live up to these expectations. the thing im most afraid of is people seeing me without makeup and thinking that i’m actually ugly and fake. …
Anyways, since the last year or so, my BDD has been getting even worse. I can’t step outside the house without having makeup on (especially eye makeup and covering up some blemishes or spots). I used to have perfect skin, due to the fact that I scrubbed and washed my face with cleansers and scrubs up to 6 or 7 times a day. But of course, perfect skin doesn’t last long when you’re a teen. I got some blemishes and spots over the few years, and since I am very pale the marks show up very easily. Right now I have about 7 or 8 smallish red hyperpigmentation on my face that I am extremely ashamed of. I always compare my face to others and I can’t leave the house without something to cover them up. I usually end up smearing foundation all over my face even though theres nothing on there. If I use concealer on a spot on my cheek, it looks a different color than the rest of my face so I have conceal the whole cheek. But then my cheek looks slightly lighter than the other one so I cover that too. And I end up doing my whole face.
Another problem is my nose. I hate is so bad I cry over it sometimes and I am absolutely obsessed with plastic surgery. There’s “nothing wrong” with my nose according to my friends and family. It fits my face, but its a bit prominent from the side and has a small bump. I don’t like the way it looks from the front either. My friends tell me that they think my nose is better than theirs but I don’t believe them. I can’t take pictures because my nose looks HUGE and disgusting in them. Whenever I meet a new person, I do whatever I can to speak to them from the front and i feel extremely uncomfortable when someone is looking at me from the side.
I also hate my body. I’m no where near fat, but I’m just slim. I’m very ashamed of saying this but I used to have mild bulimia but my mom figured it out and she got very angry . My dad and mom don’t understand about eating disorders but thankfully I don’t throw up anymore. Throwing up also makes teeth yellow and rots them, and starving results in hair loss, so I just exercise as much as I can. Now I just take diet pills and laxatives even though i want to stop. I lose weight but I’m still not happy. It’s horrible because I compare myself with EVERYONE. I just feel like I need to be skinnier, curvier, fitter, more tan, more toned more everything and that I have to be “better” than everyone else. I know it sounds terribly vain, but i dont know how to explain it without coming off as vain. I hate myself so bad. I don’t think im vain, im just obsessed with the way I look.
I try getting out of situation where I wont be able to wear makeup or if it would wash off. I rethouch my makeup up to 5 times a day. I look in the mirror so many many times. Not because I think im pretty, but to see if my makeup came off, or if i still look normal. I dont know how to explain this, but my prespective about myself changes all the time. I put on makeup and in the mirror I sometimes think I actaully look okay, and then I feel so happy. but after a few minutes I look in the mirror and I just look HORRIBLE AND SO DISGUSTING! I wonder how i even thought i looked okay, and i feel all depressed. Sometimes if i have a blemish i cant cover up, i avoid looking at mirrors or going out in light. I hate rooms with light. Whenevr I go in the bathroom, I cover up the light with towel to dim the light. That way my flaws dont look that bad. I never open the blinds in my room and my parents always yell at me and say i’ll become depressed and stuff.
The people I used to think were attractive before my BDD are now full of flaws! I feel so embarssed saying this. I find flaws in EVERYONE! But it doesn’t stop me from talking or having crushes on them or anything. I just hate myself for looking like this. Recently my parents have been worried about me cuz I don’t like going outside and always wear makeup. My dad says I need to see a psycologist but I refuse because I dont want to live with all these flaws and disgusting features! The only time I’ll go to a shrink is after I have surgery and fix my nose and body. Then if I STILL feel bad (which I doubt, because I know i’ll be happier) I’ll go get help. Sometimes, I feel so scared that even after surgery, i still will be ugly. I hate feeling like this, but still in a way, I feel glad that I have this disorder because now i can really see my faults (and fix them). I also have depression. I have never had a boyfriend before even though i’ve been asked out. I feel like i dont deserve anyone i like.
i tried telling my friends but they dont seem to understand. they just keep telling me “oh ur fine and pretty” but its so frustrating! they just think im lying and vain, and just fishing for compliments. i just feel like ripping my face off and feautures and everything. I hope everyone with BDD will one day feel good about themselves :’( No one that hasn’t experienced BDD can understand what people with BDD go through. This isnt just a self esteem problem or a small insecurity, BDD is more than that.
Hi Beatrice
Sorry for the late reply. Anxiety is the result of irrational thoughts/beliefs/fears and negative thinking we have in our minds, e.g. the negative self-imaging you have and how you think people are always lying to you about your appearance. These thoughts trigger our bodies to react and change our behaviours, i.e. feeling uncomfortable around people without makeup. If you want to manage the anxiety then one thing to do is to change the way you think. Also, please speak to your GPs if you have any concerns over your weight, and I’m sure your GPs can help with that.
Do you like to read? I would recommend the “Overcoming Body Image Problems by Alex Clarke, David Veale and Rob Willson” to you. Understanding for yourself how anxiety works and why it becomes a problem will help you a great deal, and these books provide excellent explanations and self-help techniques.
Andy
Hi, i am also suffering with the same problem and it seems to have only got worse over the years, i am now 20. I can’t remember what it is like to feel normal and happy, my life seems to revolve around hiding away as much as possible just so no one has to see me. I feel disgusted with myself every time i look in the mirror yet i can’t help picking and examining my face, and this can be for hours at a time. I can’t go too long without looking in the mirror, it has become an obsession which seems to have taken over my life. I often feel suicidal because i feel that is the only way to get away from my problem. I have tried so many tablets and creams etc but nothing has helped. No one seems to understand the extent to which i’m suffering and i feel so alone and miserable. I’m forever wishing that i could be cured in some way so i can carry on with my life and do the things i want to do. My BDD, acne and OCD collectively have ruined my life and i can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, being free from my problem seems impossible. I have got to the point where everyday is a struggle and living a life like this seems pointless. I don’t know anyone else personally who is suffering from this so i feel truly alone and like no one else understands what i’m going through. I make excuses to my friends about going out because of the embarrassment of them seeing me or anyone else. Even make-up doesn’t seem to help any more as my skin is still visibly lumpy and covered in scabs. When i see anyone i feel as if they will be looking at my skin and judging me which i fear to the point where i will try to stay in my room as much as possible. I often feel so depressed that i will avoid any social contact as much as i can, even answering the phone. I couldn’t have foreseen my life becoming like this and i find myself envying others as they don’t have to suffer every day with this life-hindering illness. I feel a slight comfort in knowing i am not the only one going through this yet i still feel hopeless and miserable and believe my skin is permanently damaged and will never heal.
Natalie
Hey Natalie, I actually cried reading this as I can totally relate to everything you have said, it felt as thought I was reading something I wrote. I have exactly the same issue with bdd/acne. If you ever want to chat you can just to me maybe it will be good for us, I dunno, I know how you feel.
Have you been to the doctors?. zoe
Dear friends, I too have BDD. Previously i used to look great and i loved people admiring me. But at 18 i had those really bad eczemas. Since then i always have some form of uncomfortableness with my face. I dont attend social functions making some excuse to friends and relatives. I used to have suicidal thoughts. I know i dont look that bad because other than my face my body is well built. But i cant stop the obsession. These days i got tired of way i feel. So currently ive been trying Buddhist meditation techniques. So i figure out we feel this way because our society is like this
There is dominant world of all that glamour and fashion so people are forced to look beautiful if they dont they wont get social appreciation. We ourselves look beauty in other people esp mate or girlfren so when we dont have that we think we will be rejected by our loved ones.
I tried to convince myself a lot not to think about it.
But now i feel instead of living a life full of frustration and depression it will be better for me to leave all people and society by becoming a monk.
M planning to become a monk so that i can taste life in newer direction. Every thing happens for a good reason and who knows our frustration has good purpose of making us a saint or enlightened being. Every so called saints and enlightened beings first start a depressed fellow. Later they could not only improve their life but also improve life of many miserable people and know remembered throughout the world.
Try ourselves also if u like.
Hi,
I think I have this condition! I recently went to a doctor who wouldnt diagnose me but I have all the symptoms. I am deeply obsessed about the hair on my face whenever I go out I think some one will see it and judge me and think I am a man, I have to check in the mirror or anything to check it’s ok every time I do I hate it because I know I will be depressed after, it’s taking over at work I barley can go five minutes with out checking. When I out I am constantly asking my sister is my face ok? Can u see any? Sometimes I panic when I can’t do this. I hide it from my bf in fear that he will start looking at it then realise I an hairy and leave me for someone pretty. The doctor told me my hair is normal but I don’t believe him!!! I get told I am pretty but I don’t believe anyone to top it off I am never happy with the way my bum looks I lost three stone in two years and I am now 9 stone I know I am not fat but doesn’t stop me thinking my bum is too big. Thinking about what I have wrote I feel as though I am being vain and feel guilty :( does it get better u don’t want to be consumed with these thoughts and constant mirror checking any more :(
Thanks
Becki
Hi Becki,
I really am confused why the doctor has not diagnosed you, you have all the symptoms. It took me a really long time to get a diagnosis though, and it wasn’t until I got referred to the local mental health time, to see a psychiatrist that I got diagnosed.
Please go back to the doctor and ask to be referred to your local mental health team, and then they can diagnose you and offer medication and therapy also maybe look on these websites:
http://www.mind.org.uk/
http://www.ocduk.org/
as they are really helpful.
I really hope you get better. zoe x
I am 46 years old, 5ft 7 and weigh 12 stone. Yes a bit overweight but not excessive. I have been told many times that I look younger than my years. When in my thirties, I could keep my weight down and felt that I still looked good. For the past few years I have been really busy and have not spend a great deal of time worrying about how I looked. When younger people told me I was good looking. When people say it now – I don’t believe them.
My partner and I decided to get married a year and a half ago. Since then I have been trying to diet and exercise as well as look after a family, study, work etc, etc. I found it nearly impossible to lose more than a few pound but felt that I had tried my best, exercising, facials – bought nice new make-up. I think how my obession with myself started was when I started going to these make-up counters. I have had to look in the mirror quite a lot and it made me feel bad about myself. The pressure of the wedding has not helped, there was so much I had to do to correct my appearance – teeth bleaching, etc, etc. Got married couple of weeks ago, looking at the video, photos, I feel that I look fat, hated my voice – even though people have said that I looked good. I dreaded everybody looking at me – I hated the thought of it beforehand. I worry incase I put a foot wrong, say or do the wrong thing.
Hi Amanda
Sorry to hear you’re having a difficult time at the moment. Anxiety is the result of irrational thoughts and negative thinking. These thoughts will cause our bodies to react and change our behaviour. Have you thought about speaking to a therapist who is specialised in treating anxiety? We offer therapy service to members at reduced rate and may be something you can consider. I would recommend Overcoming Body Image Problems by Alex Clarke, David Veale and Rob Willson to you. Understanding for yourself how anxiety works and why it becomes a problem will help you a great deal, and these books provide excellent explanations. Hope I have been able to help today.
Andy
Im 30 years old and have only just woken up to the fact that i have body dysmorphia. Every day i stare at myself in the mirror hoping that i have woken up and found some improvement in my face and body. I think about costmetic surgery every day and spend hours researching the different procedures that i want to have done. I loathe my ears my teeth – my nose my skin my stomach my legs – my whole body. I hate it – i feel such hatred inside when i see myself. I feel like i used to be happy but now ive lost it all with age. And now ill never get it back. I have panic attacks when its an important event. Constantly comparing myself to friends and feeling totally inadequate. I dont want to answer the phone – socialise – or even leave teh house some days. I feel liek i could easily be a recluse , i feel like im halfway there. I just dont know how i can overcome this. Nothing seems like a way out except surgery. I feel only that will make me happy again. :(
Hi Rebecca
Sorry to hear you’re having a difficult time. Surgery is not the only way out and definitely won’t help the anxiety. Soon you had one, you always want another one, and this will become your unhealthy coping behaviour. I would recommend you to speak to a therapist who is specialised in treating anxiety. Your anxiety is caused by the irrational thoughts and negative self-image so what you need is talking therapy, not cosmetic surgery. “Overcoming Body Image Problems by Alex Clarke, David Veale and Rob Willson” would also help you alot in understanding and managing your anxiety, so worth a read.
Andy
Hi Zoe :)
Thanks for commenting. I actually went to see a counsellor today but wasn’t much help. She refered me elsewhere and I have to wait for them to phone me with a date. She told me to stop looking in the mirror so much an when I said that I just don’t think I can as it will make me panic she told me to put an elastic band on my hand and snap it when I feel the need to look in the mirror. What a joke its not like I’m trying to give up smoking or something.
I think it’s going to take alot more than an elastic band to make me change my way of thinking!! After today I feel as though nothing they will do will make me feel better :( Nothing anyone says makes me feel better I dont believe them. I’m even thinking of booking a doctors appointment with a diff doctor to see if my hairs really are normal as I’m still in doubt.
Can I ask now that u have been diagnosed what treatment do u have? Even after today’s session she has not told me what is wrong with me but refers to it as my ‘illness’ :(
Becki x
Hi Becki
Counselling is a client-lead service and the counsellor is there to listen and understand your thoughts and feelings. I would recommend CBT if you really want to manage the anxiety. CBT is more directive and as long as you practise the CBT techniques and stay positive, you will eventually learn to manage the anxiety. We offer CBT to our members at reduced rates and waiting list is upto 2 weeks. You can look at our Get Help session for more information.
Andy
Hey Becki so sorry to hea your experience, I had same thing said to be its ridiculous. The doctors can give u meds for bdd perhaps try that, i cant as i am allergic. Also im starting group therapy next week through mind.com, maybe look into that xx
i avoid walking through crowed place if i see anyone i know because i don’t want them to see me and the way i look. I hate the way i look and when i arrive home from college i avoid all of the mirrors either wipe off my makeup or get in the bath and scrub my face then i would get in bed as if i where hiding away. I dread getting photos took because i know there are going to be awful. I have very bad skin it first started when i turned 13 years old and got called the odd name such as spotty and it really got to me but i never showed it, i felt disgusting and that i was ugly and then i started wearing makeup which actually made it worse. As i got older i got over the fact that i had spots and they become a part of my life because i had them for that long but if i heard someone talking about something i wouldn’t join in if i had something to say in case they called me a hurtful name, i did this because i hate the way it made me feel it made me angry that i looked that way. When i was in school my weight was never an issue but when i left and went to college and by body started to fill out i hated it i just wanted to be thin again and not have big hips or chunky legs. They was times in school and still now in college i will avoid bumping into certian people who i like such as boys because i didnt like how i looked that day and didnt want them to think i was ugly. I would look in the mirror and get worked up if my makeup wouldnt hide the spots and would be depsrate to go home and just hide under the covers. I dont have a boyfriend and push people away who care about me and make excuses up about meeting people because im worried there will not like what they see. i carnt wait to get out of my teenage years so my looks change and hopefully for the better
Hi Sarah
Have you thought about talking therapy? Anxiety is caused by your irrational thoughts and negative thinking. These cause our bodies to produce all sort of unpleasant symptoms and change our behaviour. If you want to manage the anxiety, you need to stay positive and have faith in yourself. Try to distract yourself from these negative thinking and motivate yourself to engage in more positive activities, e.g. exercise. Do you read? The “Overcoming Body Image Problems by Alex Clarke, David Veale and Rob Willson” is full of excellent exeplanations and self-help techniques.
Andy
Hi Sarah, I can 100% relate to this you sound like me when I was at college im now 23, when you said you can wait to be out your teen years I use to feel like this as I always prayed for the day I would look better because of my skin, its not your appearance that needs to change its your self esteem and confidences. You should have a look on the mind.com and ocduk.co.uk website. for some advice and go to the gp for therapy or meds, please dont let this go on any longer, like I did. I eventually finished all my studies and then stopped going out completely for 3 years. I really hope you get better take care Zoe x
I’m 16 now but i’ve been dealing with these issues since before i can remember. When i was growing up from the age of about 6 to 13 i was bullied and they would say i was fat, ugly or any physical features they could point out that wern’t perfect. When i was 12 i picked up bad eating habbits (skipping meals) which then lead to some purging when i was around 13. Also around this time i started cutting, which is a bad habit i haven’t been able to let go off. Whenever i talk to anyone now that maybe hasnt seen me in a while or talks to me occasionally they comment on how much weight iv’e lost, but i still know i have a lot to loose and i see my reflection in the mirror of still majorly overweight. The thing that pushed me to get help was an ex, they told me i’m to conscious about my weight and looks when i really shouldn’t be, and told me there was a huge chance that i could have BDD. I then reserched it and realised all the synptoms were things i do day to day. Like: constantly touching an area of my body that i’m disgusted by and checking myself in reflections a lot, also contantly looking for re-asurance from partners that i look okay, or that i’m not what i think i am, and trying to convince them to see me threw my eyes. Its even little things like skipping social interaction like, parties or gathering because i feel ugly or fat or the certain feautre i hate looks a lot worse on that certain day. I need help because i’m currently in a relationship with a boy who tries to understand my problem, i.e constantly reasures me i have a good fugure, or calls me beautiful anything to try and make me less insicure, and i don’t want my problems to push him away.
Please help me :/
Aliss
Yeah, in the last couple of weeks I’ve realized that I have BDD, my obsession is with my neck and chin, I’m always worrying I’ve got a double chin, which I have through genetics even though I’m not particularly fat, and I just can’t stand it. I’ve brought things like a neck toner, wraps, and have now got into the habit of doing all the exercises every day, which obviously appears odd as well. I can’t stop touching my neck, just to feel whether it’s “Fatter” today or not, and I just end up having panic attacks. I’ve only explained this to a few members of my family, who genuinly don’t get it, and Mom’s making me go to a GP soon.
It’s really hard to cope with, say if I’m in a public place and feel like people are staring at me, I simple HAVE to look at the floor and not make eye contact, then I start thinking “Is this making me more noticable? When I look up will people think I’m a freak? Is having my posture like this making my double chin worst?”
And I go through like phases, one month, I can’t look at myself in the mirror, and I try to distract myself, other days and months, I’m obsessed with talking, and miming how I’m usually moving in mirrors, to see how other people see me, and I get so stressed just thinking how fat it makes all of me look.
And everytime someone like my mates, or family, people who I am close to, compliment me, like calling me pretty, cute, thin, beautiful, and that kind of thing, I just think they’re lying because of my personallity.
I can’t even smile without thinking “Does it look big?” And I’m always comparing myself to random people in the street or on tv, thinking I don’t want to look like them, I just wish I had a thin neck like them, or that they are only beautiful because of their neck and jawline.
It’s very stressful and hard to deal with, and for my family too, as they are always worried I’m going to start crying or panicing about something that apparently isn’t there.
But anyway, since I’m more aware of it now, and attempting to break out of those strange habits, I call that progress, it’s very difficult though.
And I wish everyone else with this very good luck, :)
I have been living with BDD for 16 years. It all started when I was 14 years old and developed an obsession with making myself look perfect. i remember spending all my pocket money on creams, lotions and potions, then running a hot bath and \perfecting\ every part of my body with these products. It was at this time my main obsession developed. I had a thin layer of \fuzzy\ baby hair growing along my hairline at my forehead, which I decided to \trim\. Trimming soon led to shaving. I was sitting with my mum one evening, doing my homework, and she asked if I’d shaved my head. I burst into tears, ashamed of what I’d done. I then endured months of teasing and comments at school – my hairline looked shiny and unnatural and it was obvious what I had done. I became anxious and withdrawn. I pretended to be ill so I could be sent home. I couldn’t cope. I spent hours every day checking my hairline. Eventually mum got her hairdresser to cut me a fringe. It didn’t suit me, the bullying got worse! The fringe gave me acne on my forehead, sparking a new obsession. I didn’t want to go on. I continued with this obsession for another 2 years and then had a nervous breakdown. I did well in my exams, studying gave me an escape from my miserable reality, but I couldn’t go back to do my A-levels. I was broken and scared. I eventually got my A-levels at home, though I didn’t do very well, and secured a place at university. i continued a seemingly normal life as a student – I even had a job and a boyfriend. The obsession, however, was never very far away. I’m 30 now and although I have a job, a loving boyfriend and what seems like a normal life, my BDD is always with me. I still obsessively check my skin and hairline every day, it infiltrates every single area of my life. It causes me great depression and anxiety. I cannot take it any more, I need help. I have tried in the past, but the therapy was never very successful. No-one ever really seemed to understand the extent of my problem. My main issue is that I feel I look damaged and unhealthy. I know I need help and I am going to do my very best to get it.
Hi Sarah
Cognitive behavioural therapy may be something you can consider. It is a very directive approach and effective for treating anxiety disorders. I would also recommend the “Overcoming Body Image Problems by Alex Clarke, David Veale and Rob Willson” which can be found here http://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/products/body-dysmorphic-disorder/ This book is written by two CBT therapists and is full of excellent explanations and effective cognitive behavioural techniques so worth a read. Good luck and stay positive.
Andy
Hello, I’m 18 years old and although I haven’t been diagnosed with BDD, I recently went to my Doctor and told her the way i was feeling. She looked at me in the most horrible way and said ‘do you think your fat?’ I told her no, as my weight is a small worry but it’s nothing compared to the rest. Once I had told her that i didn’t think I was fat, she wrote down ‘not annorexic, not depressed’. And that made me feel so stupid and vain and I could never go again. My boyfriend pushed me to go to the doctors as it majorly affects our relationship, however I do not believe I have BDD. Is it not okay for an ugly person to know that they are infact hideous? Surely all the unattractive people haven’t got BDD? Anyway, my doctor referred me to counselling and although I didn’t want to go, again my boyfriend forced me. My counsellor pitied me, and told me to say ‘ I am beautiful’ everyday in the mirror, I cannot believe this was her advice, I don’t want to brainwash myself into thinking I am something that I’m not. I came on this website just to ask if anyone else is in a relationship that is severly affected by your own appearance. I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year now and we still havent had sex, in fact he hasnt seen my belly, or any naked part of me except my arms. He always gets annoyed because I have to constantly apply makeup. He doesn’t like that I don’t want to go out with his friends, but how can i when they are all gorgeous girls who take photos at every opportunity? I can’t kiss him alot but my biggest concern are my lips, they are basically non-existent and i look disfigured because of this. He told me once that he didnt realise i was ‘pretty’ when he first met me because i wasnt what he is use to looking for, which translates to hes never been out with someone so ugly before. Hes forever telling me which girls he finds attractive (including my best friends) and takes the mickey out of me if he can see my makeup coming off or my hair out of place. He knows i hate all this and it will make me paranoid but he still does it. I think the major problem is despite the fact i told him we cant have sex, i cant talk to him about any other aspect of how i feel and i genuinely believe he doesnt know what hes doing. apart from this side of things, we are fantastic. I wish i could say i have BDD, at least that would bring a tiny bit of reassurance that I’m like the way i am for a reason, but i honestly just think im ugly. Cosmetic surgery is the only option for me, but working at minimum wage means i’m likely to never be able to afford it. I cant stop thinking im going to waste so many opportunities, time and my life feeling like this, but im sure all of you know that it is not something any of us can change.